Down with the sickness

Ugh...so sick. I attempted to drink some delicious Jones Soda (Mmm Berry White) but only found myself becoming more nauseous. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! IF I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY JONES SODA I CAN'T GO ON!!

Houses don't kill people. People kill people.

So....Amityville Horror is out on DVD on October 4th.

Um maybe I should restate that. Amityville Horror comes out October 4th, 2005...

Let me try that one more time. AMITY-FREAKIN-VILLE HORROR COMES OUT OCTOBER 4th!

Yeah, that's right people. You better buy the DVD!

Mmmhmm The Friday Five

1. What song on your iTunes playlist are you least likely to admit to friends, is there?
Sadly, at some point, I decided that it's cool to listen to Jim Croce. I'd have to say that I am quite bashful when it comes to discussing my love of his old-time music.

2. What movie is your guilty pleasure?
American Psycho, hands down, is definitely a guilty pleasure. Oh the nudity! OH THE VIOLENCE! And yet...it is so awesome.

3. What book brings most shame to your bookshelves?
I got into this phase where I was trying to find really unique graphic novels so I bought one called "The Filth" thinking, wow what an interesting concept. Unfortunately I should have paid more attention to the name of the graphic novel because it is quite dirty.

4. What's your most shameful moment?
Oh, there are too many to pick from. Most of them involve moments in which I thought I was blonde and attempted to act like it.

5. National Enquirer: dirty secret read or just more paper to cover your hamster's cage?
I find the National Enquirer entertaining beyond belief.

I'll have that cow shaken...not stirred

There is this reappearing commercial on TV that features a man literally shaking a cow and then the words "MILK SHAKE". Upon first viewing this commercial I was distressed by the fact that this poor cow was being shaken pretty violently. Now I am amused by such commercial and have the urge to shake a cow. Does that make me a bad person? Yes, yes it does.

iTunes: "My Friends" by the Red Hot chili Peppers
I am: AWESOME!

I attempted to renew my license today but was shot down by the evil license lady who said I couldn't prove my citizenship because I don't have my birth certificate. Hellooooo. I clearly was born in the US. I do not find it necessary to have 3 forms of ID (not including my expired license) to RENEW MY LICENSE! I can't express how mad I was to find out that I have to drive around without a valid license until I can get a copy of my birth certificate in the mail because my parents appear to have lost it. Convenient that they lost mine and not my sister's EAI?

Sing it back, whoa-a-a-a-a-a

iTunes: "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World
I am: HAZAAH (I realize that you can't be "hazaah" but the word seemed to fit the situation)

HAZAAAH I SAY! I am happy to announce that I will be attending the Jimmy Eat World concert in my hometown of Lawrence, Kansas on September 18th with numerous friends. I have volunteered my services as the driver for the day since I do know my way around my own hometown. I don't believe I can properly express how psyched I am about this trip. Lawrence has the best venues around and we don't have to listen to 12 opening acts to get to the good stuff like we did with Chevelle. Don't get me wrong. The Chevelle concert was hardcore awesome. I just hated listening to the first 6 bands produce what one could only assume was some sort of "music".

Friday Five

iTunes: "Caring is Creepy" by The Shins

Most of you know what a "Friday Five" is but for those "uned-ja-ma-kated" few I offer this explanation:Every Friday I or (in the rare instance that I am being lazy) someone else creates a list of five questions centering around one topic. The responses and questions are then posted on various blogs. So here it goes...

1. What Zombie movie deserves your seal of awesome-ness?

My vote would have to go for "Shaun of the Dead." With lines like 'Who died and made you king of the zombies? ' how can you not LOVE that movie?

2. If you were placed in a zombie movie, approximately how long would you live and why?

Hmm with my brains and good looks? I'd say I'd live right up to the last 15 minutes of the movie when a surprise plot twist results in a zombie attacking me from the behind and biting my neck.

3. What weapon have you found to be most useful against zombies?

My "boomstick"!!

4. Zombies. Good, bad, or just misunderstood?

Clearly misunderstood. Their need to eat brains is really them trying to reach out.

5. Cillian Murphy. Will he ever get past being type-cast as the hot creepy dude?

No. After seeing the Red Eye trailer I think it's clear that Cillian will always be the loveable creep next-door.

Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable"

I was able to get my copy of WE3 today. Grant Morrison is pretty much a genius...well, as genius as you can get without being Neil Gaiman. Anyway, this book is all about these three animals that are turned into somewhat cyborgs. The Army uses them in super secret missions to kill crime lords and whatnot. I don't want to give too much away but it's pretty sweet. Oh man, if my dogs were cyborgs we could play "SUPER ultimate Frisbee" and I'd have them hunt down my mortal enemies. Stellar. I have to admit that no book or comic book has EVER made me cry, not even Watership Down and that's saying a lot. I wasn't even half way through WE3 when I found myself tearing up. Just thinking about the story makes me get all gooshey. ::sniff sniff:: It's just that good people...just that gosh darn good.

I was surprised to see that the USA network is playing "TORNADO!" aka a crappier version of Twister with Bruce Campbell. The only good thing about this movie is Bruce. Oh Bruce, your such a stud ::sigh::.

On a random side note: Bruce Campbell's character in "TORNADO!" went to the University of Missouri making Bruce Campbell even cooler, if that's even possible.

Entitled: Teddy Graham memories

iTunes: "Long Line of Cars" by Cake
I am: melting

This post is mostly fluffed filler for the week so you'll have to excuse the lack of entertainment value:

So I thought about going out today to buy some Comet to clean the dishwasher with but then came to the realization that we had plenty of Tang in stock, and used it instead. Yep. I knew that Tang was awesome but man, not only is it delicious but also can be used as a household cleaner.

Now a quote from 2Ge+Her:The Movie...

Chad: I don't tell many people this, but my greatest dream is to own a Seadoo, and Im gonna get one too, because I plan on making a buttload of money with this!

Doug: A buttload, how much is a buttload?

Chad: 1000 dollars. I base that on the fact that one time, I fit 5 dollars up my butt, and well, not to brag or anything, but I figure I could fit way more up there. WAY more! Easy!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Names of actual books in my mother's office

• "How to really love your teenager"
• "Self-Esteem: A Family Affair"
• "Beating the Devil out of them"
• "How to really love your child"
• "The Shy Child"
• "Understanding Parental Anger"
• "Children: The Challenge"

Laura isn't evil. She's just up to no good.

iTunes: "Greedy Fly" by Bush
I am: lacking in the maturity department

The cap under my Pepsi bottle told me that I'm a huge loser. Yep. Yeper-oo. Yep yep yep. Looooser. Yep. It's all good. The good people at Coke think I'm cool. They better. Or else. ::points and shakes in anger::

Tamila gave me a ring-ting-ting-a-ling tonight. I told her...demanded actually, that she throw a huge movie fest at her new "apart". I threatened her with Moulin Rouge quotes (yeah, I realize that doesn't make sense. Just go with the flow people).

My day was very uneventful. Boring events. Therefore I shall not waste anyone's time by posting such events.

Scroll Down for Cedar Point Awesome-ness

And what park would be completely without one of these...

This disgusting piece of art was our view while we waited in line for "Raptor." Mmm delicious. 

Random ride...ya! 

Sadly this is the only picture of "Top Thrill Dragster" I have. It is the world's fastest and tallest rollercoaster and I rode it twice (it would have been more if the lines weren't crazy). 420 feet and 120mph in 4 seconds baby! 

::sheds tear:: The "Millennium Force" was possibly the best rollercoaster I had ever been on. Too bad I don't have better pictures of that drop. Oh man it was sweet.

Funny story about the "Power Tower"...before Daniel and I rode it we head that some tiny child had rode it all the way to the top and then puked her guts out. I can imagine that her fellow passengers were not quite pleased. 

Ah yes, the "Power Tower." Great view, great fun. 

Daniel and I prepare for the best time of our lives. 

Oh sweet sweet "Chaos." How could I live without you? 

More "Wicked Twister" 

This beauty is called the "Wicked Twister." It shoots you super fast up this twisty track and then get shot backwards up another twisty track. 

More "maXair"...now that's some serious air. 

As noted in a previous entry, I have seen heaven on earth, and it is in Ohio. Cedar Point, Ladies and Gentlemen is the greatest amusement park in the WORLD. This first picture is of something called "maXair." Imagine 50 people on this huge wheel that spins and swings. Yeah...it's that awesome! 

Most pointless entry...ever

iTunes: "Sunburn" by Muse
I am: Sun burnt (that's two words right?)

Cedar Point was awesome. I'm still alive. Rejoyce.

Instances in which I would say yes to "extra butter"

Instance #1: I am being held by viscous group of vigilantes wearing cartoon character masks. They are really angry customers who are sick of being charged 27 cents for the extra butter on their "reel deal" #2. They tell me that they will slowly torture my family and me unless I give them their money back. I refuse and tell them to go hump a tree (I tend to get viscous when my life is at stake). This comment angers them. The whip out the "big guns" and expose a month-old batch of popcorn. It looks less than appetizing with its green mold and maggots. They bring the old bucket of popcorn near my face, preparing to force feed it to me and ask once again for their money, a QSP (free drink), and an apology. I cry like a tiny child. They take pity on me and in an act of weakness the vigilantes ask me if I would like "extra butter" on my popcorn.

Instance #2: I am approached by Ryan Reynolds on the street. He has taken noticed of "wonderful personality" (Yeah...I know...shut up). We date for several months and are followed by the paparazzi every day. We are pushed to our limits and resort to using cute code words and phrases to discuss private subjects. After an uber romantic date that tops all dates, he gets down on one knee, whips out a FREAKIN' huge ring, and asks me if "I would like extra butter?"


Instance #3: After years of writing my local congressman, "Opposite Day" is recognized as an official national holiday. To celebrate such holiday, I attend the movie theater with friends to redeem my employee reel deal #1 for that week. According to company policy and government regulations, all Movie Theater, bank, and restaurant employees are not allowed to play "Opposite Day" thus they must ask questions in a normal manner but assume that customers will answer in an opposite manner. Upon giving the on duty concessionist my order they ask if I would like extra butter. I reply "yes" (AKA "no" on opposite day).

Instance #4: While away on a mission trip to Africa/Mexico/China/California (some "God-Forsaken land") a member of my troop is bit by a wild monkey carrying an Ebola-like virus that turns people into zombies. Unaware of this member's contagiousness, we return to the US and the town in which we all live. Soon he/she begins to cough up nasty chunks of lung and attempts to eat us. One by one we all become sick. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) as well as Dustin Hoffman is called in. Soon the entire small town is surrounded by tanks and men with very large guns. After hours of searching for a cure an accidental drop of movie theater grade butter, mixes in with the blood of one of the infected. It is found that the butter seems to smother the virus, thus killing it. Dustin Hoffman carefully administers the cure to each of the infected. In an attempt to keep spirits high Dustin makes jokes and acts out scenes from Rainman. Upon reaching me he jokingly asks if I would "like extra butter with my IV this afternoon?"

Instance #5: Christian Bale (The "Reign of Fire" version) comes up to me shirtless and asks me if I want "Extra Butter." My exact response is, "God yes."

That face that bugs you

iTunes: "Mia" by Chevelle
I am: a terrible excuse for a tiny, angry, little girl

If my head spontaneously combusts, I apologize immensely. I will be back to clean up the mess. I promise.

I swear if I stub my toe one more time tonight I am going to kill something.

1984

iTunes: "Talk Shows On Mute" by Incubus

Yeah, that's right I found a song that actually relates to a post.

I finally found the time to post the pictures from the 1984 arcade. Obviously we all had a really awesome time.

Hannah's Sad Little Obsession

Natalie tries to show "Pac-Woman" who's boss

Weeeeird picture of Hannah

Waka waka waka!!

iTunes: "Until You're Reformed" - Chevelle (Live From the Road)
I am: attempting to stomach the book "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis

Ladies and gentlemen I am happy to announce that I can connect myself to Kevin Bacon within one person...

I went to the same high school as Brad Pitt
who was in Sleepers with Kevin Bacon!

I believe I can die a happy girl now.

I just finished watching Way of the Gun and have found way too many similarities between it and Boondock Saints. For instance the last lines in Way of the Gun are..

We don't want your forgiveness. We won't make excuses. We're not gonna blame you, even if you are an accessory... But we will not except your natural order. We didn't come for absolution, we didn't ask to be redeemed. But isn't how it is, every goddamn time... Your prayers are always answered, in the order they're received...

and the last lines in Boondock Saints are...

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

Ok so the lines are COMPLETELY different but both movies have the same feeling toward the end. Look, people I am not crazy here....Just watch the G.D. movie.

As for the events of this current day, it has been slow. Slow...yes. I missed church this morning because I overslept and I overslept because...I'm a loser like that (haha). Anyway I've been messing with my sketch book since about 2pm praying that God will bless me with some talent before Tuesday night at which time I will have to prove my worth to not only Hannah, and Natalie, but the entire world. I shouldn't have slept through Church...oh man.

6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon and me

HAHA I figured out how I am connected to Kevin Bacon...

I have a friend "Ben" that was in The Island
with Sean Bean who was in Troy
with Brad Pitt who was in Sleepers
with KEVIN BACON!

I'm practically related to Kevin Bacon.

So tonight someone made some sort of snotty comment about me liking Graphic Novels and such. I'm sure it wasn't really all that snotty and it really wasn't a full blown insult but inference that I was a loser was still there. I remember just sitting there thinking, "Hm. How should I take this? Should I be like Jesus and say something incredibly kind like, 'I forgive you for your uncalled for comment that made me fell insignificant and I would like you to join me in a quick prayer so that we can call out this demon spirit that has clearly claimed your soul' or should I toss a kit-kat at his head in hopes of permanently damaging some brain cells?"

Instead of being a good Christian or even a moderately good Christian and just saying, "Eat crap and die" or something witty like that (haha) I just did what any immature, comic book geek/loser would do and gave him the finger. A gesture I have only, and will only, reserve for this one specific person.

I rock hardcore.

I had a lot of sugar this morning.

I found myself in some of a Ryan Reynolds withdrawal this afternoon. It was sickening. It started with the shakes and ended with me on the floor, in the fetal position, crying "Ryan....Reynolds" over and over. I decided that watching Blade Trinity with Commentary from David Goyer, Ryan Reynolds, and Jessica Biel was answer to my craving. Surprisingly, the commentary is actually almost better then the movie. First of all, David Goyer is GREAT! Seriously that man is funny beyond belief.

David: and I believe you ate alot of Soylent Green right?
Ryan: Oh yeah. All the time.
David (in the background while Ryan and Jessica are saying something): and Soylent Green is people.
Ryan and Jessica: Yeah yeah.


Oh man...I don't believe that random Ryan Reynolds pictures ever get old.

'Cause I was born to destroy you...

iTunes: "In The Garage" by Weezer
I am: Hyper

"The minor decision involves the zombie story I've been wanting to
write. I have decided, in the wake of watching 28 Days Later again and
discussing it with Natalie last night, to write it. It will very likely be
extremely long, and probably written in screenplay form, and I will not bother
to change anyone's name, and all my friends and most of my acquaintances will be
in it, and there are four people who will ever be allowed to read it. In other
words, it will not be posted here (not that this blog has ever been read by more
than four people, anyway). As minor as this decision is, I feel a strange sense
of freedom after making it. I'll have something tangible to show for my
relentless daydreaming. In fact, I've already started on a soundtrack playlist,
which will include the following:

"Pyramid Song," Radiohead
"Hysteria," Muse
"Marvelous Things," Eisley
"Daylight," Coldplay
"The Other Side," David Gray
"Latter Days," Over the Rhine
"Tear," Smashing Pumpkins
"There Is A Light That Never Goes Out," The Smiths
"Space and Time," The Verve
"Indefinitely," Travis
"Killing Zombies," Mark Butt " "

Oh man, I am so psyched! As I read Hannah's post about her upcoming Zombie screenplay a bright light appeared above my head and the hampster who works in my brain, came out of it's comatose state and began running on it's tinny wheel. I immediately called Hannah and asked her if I could use her script for a graphic novel.

We've talked over the direction of the story and I am quite excited where its going.

I need some Captain Crunch and Orange Soda...

I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?

iTunes: "Smile Lines" by Incubus (Have I used that song before on a post? Geeze I don't remember. Just ignore it if I have.)
I am: despondent

Uck. Not doing well. I'm in a terribly and quite obnoxiously depressing mood and for some strange reason I can't stop quoting Fight Club. "You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh."

Need Kool-Aid to be whole again. Need 15 hours o' sleep. Can't properly produce a sentence for this post. Oh wait, there's one.

One for the ladies

A guy from work insisted upon me watching "Reign of Fire" claiming that it was one of the most awesome movies of 2002. I mentioned that I had heard of the film and had no interest in "Matthew Ma-Con-A-HEY!" because his last movie sucked. He convinced me to borrow his DVD anyway. Imagine my surprise when I began watching "Reign of Fire" expecting a 2 star movie, with mediocre acting, only to find Christian Bale being as awesome as ever and sporting a fine British accent. Sure, the movie has other fine aspects. I mean you can't really go wrong with fire and Jurassic Park Style dragon that eat people whole (oh man, that was such a wicked scene). Ok, I'll admit that it could have been better but it kept my interest and not just because Christian Bale is a hottie. It was well acted all around.

I must re-enact one scene from the movie though, a highlight of sorts...

Matthew McConaughey: Grrr I'm an ex-marine on steroids who needs 200 men to go on a suicide mission to kill a dragon so that I can go on killing other animals!
Random members of the small society: They may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM! Oh wait, wrong movie. We mean, YEAH we'll help you slay the dragon! Lead us to our deaths!
Christian Bale: Wait! Matthew you can't take my men. That's just not cool dude. Let's sit down and have a nice cup of water and talk this over.
Matthew: Well, I was just going to put a gun to your head an force your people to come with me but water sounds so much nicer!
Christian: Ok, let us adjourn to my hobbit hole ::Matthew turns around to go inside:: SUCKER! ::Christian Bale sucker punches Matthew McConaughey::
Matthew: Oh so that's how it's going to be then, huh? ::Rips off shirt exposing overly muscular body [which grosses me out by the way] and begins to kick the crap out of Christian::
Christian: OH! I KNOW YOU DIDN' JUST TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF! Look, there is only room enough for ONE shirtless actor in this movie and that's me! ::sadly attempts to punch Matthew::
Random members of the small society: Hmm, maybe we should break this up considering that we are the last of the human race and we really can't afford to be killing each other. ::pulls the two apart::
Matthew: Ok, Christian, you've one this round but the next movie we're in together I'm going to be shirtless first! ::Spits on Christian::
Izabella Scorupco: ::approaches a broken Christian Bale:: Here put some iodine on those cuts. Matthew is a pretty dirty guy, in fact I'm not quite sure where he's been, he is dating Penélope Cruz, and we all know where she's been.
Christian: Thanks! Wanna make out?
Izabella Scorupco: Nah, I'm too pretty for that sort of thing. You can look at me all you want though!
Christian: ::sighs: Darn... well beggars can't be choosers.

Did I mention that the man was shirtless within the first 10 minutes of the film? Did I mention that I am buying this DVD tomorrow? DID I MENTION THATCHRISTIANN BALE IS ORIGINALLY FROMWALESS? YEAH!! He's from the UK ladies...hands-off. He's mine.

Well, I'm off to watch "Requiem for a Dream" which I hear is life changing. I shall let you know in a later post.

I glued my head to my shoulder, now I have two owies

I have come to the realization that "Just a little while" is one of the DIRTIEST Janet Jackson songs I have ever heard. Let's face it people, Janet Jackson has some pretty gosh darn dirty songs out there. She's not the little Janet we all grew up to love. Why I still have this song on iTunes is beyond me.

Repeating on iTunes: "New Born" by Muse
I am: contemplating world domination

Yet another memorable conversation with Hannah:

Me: I could totally apply at the Mud House but I don't think they'd hire me. I'm not indie enough.
Hannah: I believe that makes you over qualified to serve coffee.
Me: I guess, but during the interview process they'd ask me what my favorite Pixies song was. I'd pretty much be screwed then considering I'm not a fan.
Hannah: Just answer Caribou and you'll be fine.
Me: Yeah I guess, but what if I end up hanging out after work with a bunch of the employees and we get on the topic of what the meaning of life is? I'm CLEARLY not indie enough to answer that!
Hannah: Just say Caribou. They'll think you're a genius. ::mimicking Mud House staff who apparently speak in a somewhat British accent:: "Wow, I never though of it like that. You are so right! Caribou is the answer to life!"
Me: ::silence:: ::thinks:: Ok, so that might actually work for a while but at some point I'd blow it by saying something like, "I enjoy dancing around in a tutu and blowing bubbles on the weekends."
Hannah: Hey! Maybe you'll meet a cute indie boy with glasses who works there who enjoys that sort of thing.
Me: Yeah...(sarcasm) that's what I want. A guy who's fetish is me dancing around in a tutu.

The genius Michael (Natalie/Hannah friend that I am only a friend with through association. Therfore we really aren't friends but then again I am a friend with all creatures of God. I'm just that cute) who respects Jim Croce as much as I do, or atleast he did when I last talked to him at that New Year's Eve party a few years back if I remember correctly which I probably don't, has posted quite the interesting post. I do encourage those of you "Who Put Letters to Other People On Their Blogs, Especially When the People To Whom The Letter Is Addressed Will Probably Never Read The Blog In" to read such post. So I beg all of you, do not give into the trend, stop posting random angry letters, love one another, and rant in the normal way.

When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University

I had almost completely forgotten about this sickeningly cute picture until I saw that Sandor has posted it on his site. I must admit that if I didn't have braces this picture would be one of the most awesome I have ever taken. As for the male appearance in this photo: ladies, this is Kevin and though we make an "adorable couple" (sarcasm) he's just my "consistently hurt on by a motorcycle" buddy. I believe he is available if anyone wants to stalk him.

This is a freakin' long post so please scroll down

Slowly but surely the "faux-hawk" has been invading homes everywhere. At first, it was only celebrities doing it, here and there you know. Only for those "hip occasions" like the MTV music awards but now everyone had tried it. I believe that it takes a certain type of cool to pull off the Faux-hawk. Seriously now, you've got to have that...look or else you just look like a doofus trying to be cool. To be honest, not a lot of people can pull it off. I've seen people try and oh the tears I wanted to shed for them. Oh the horror! For example: 4 employees of the Springfield 8 have tried to pull it off and only 1 has and very successfully at that.

For your approval, over the next few posts... I submit, the BEST celebrity "faux-hawks"



Clearly Ryan Reynolds pulls off the best faux hawk. ::giggles:: I don't think I need to go into details why. I think you can all see for yourselves. Oh Ryan, your hair always looks wicked.

Jude Law...ah yes, I bet you all were just waiting for me to mention him. Let us all just take a moment to admire this picture...::stares deeply into screen:: Jude Law looks cool all the time ( I mean have you seen the man smoke? HE LOOKS HOT!) so it's only natural for me to acknowledge his cool faux hawk look.

Orlando is someone you would think wouldn't be able to pull the faux hawk off because he has this "pretty boy" look but in some weird way, he does it quite well. Bravo Orlando. You have shown me that pretty boys can be cool too. 

Ewan McGregor has one of the "BEST FAUX HAWKS" I have ever seen. I believe I saw an interview where he sported this hair style while talking about Episode 3 looking more awesome then ever and all I could think was, "Dude, can Ewan McGregor get any cooler?" Star Wars + Faux Hawk = perfection!

I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation

Blasting through the speakers: "Secret" by Maroon 5
I am: melancholy

Uh, I don't feel so awesome. ::groans and grabs stomach:: Ugh... I think I have SARS..ug...

I think I can appropriately describe today by relating it to a piece of dog crap, wrapped in tin foil, and served piping hot. No. That doesn't really describe it. Try to imagine the worse day you've ever had, then imagine it slightly less bad then it actually was and that was my day. It sucked but I'll live. As long as I get some divine sleep I promise I won't strangle the first person I see with my awesome Jedi powers.

The heat is getting to me, I'll kill you momentarily.

After watching Batman Begins for a second time (I love that movie...I would MARRY THAT MOVIE!) I decided that it was time to relive the "Original Batman". I made a mad dash to Hollywood Video and rented the first two Batmans (praise Jesus for Tim Burton). It's so funny because I really didn't remember some of these seriously great lines like:

Catwoman: I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... yummier.

Come on people!! That's quality material people. So, for your reading pleasure, I have here my favorite lines of the movie. Taa da!

Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Selina Kyle: Oh god... does this mean we have to start fighting now?

Catwoman: Batman napalmed my arm, and knocked me off a building just when i was starting to feel good about myself. I want to play an integral part in his degradation.
The Penguin: A plan is forming.
Catwoman: I want in. The thought of busting Batman makes me feel all... dirty. I think I'll give myself a bath right here. [licks herself in a cat-like manner]

Catwoman: Mmm seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

Well... Dracula called, and he's coming tonight for you, and I said okay.

Blasting through my speakers: "Under Pressure" by The Used and My Chemical Romance
I am: Being sucked into an "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" trance

I can gladly say that I am responsible for bringing orange soda to the good patrons at the Springfield 8. That's right. Thanks to me, you all will be able to drink sweet sweet orange soda while watching quality movies like "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl: In 3D".

I accomplished pretty much nothing today other than finding random stories to share in our manager meeting. I think I brought a lot to today's manager meeting.

I think I have some sort of viscous spider bite on my arm. Hmm maybe I should do something about that.

Uh..I have to return some videotapes.

In my Ears: "Radio/Video" by System of a Down
I am: orangilicious

I must say that ever since I watched "American Psycho" with Natalie, Hannah, and a random girl named Amanda (who seems very nice BTW) I have had the urge to randomly quote the movie but how do you work something like,

"My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected,
but, ah, I have no other way to fulfill my needs. "

into a normal conversation? Surely, I will find a way.

Well, I am saddened to say that Natalie and I are currently fighting. Yes, I am making it publicly known. ::sheds a tear:: For you see, the other night...while watching "American Psycho" we reached the scene in which Christian Bale enters butt naked fashioning only a roaring chainsaw. To my surprise Natalie randomly burst out with, "Is it just me or does Christian Bale bare a striking resemblance to a young Bruce Campbell in this scene?" The room went silent. I immediately turned to Natalie and said, "I cannot believe you disgraced the name of Bruce Campbell by saying such a thing."

Hannah agreed.

I will have to forgive Natalie eventually for such a terrible comment for she did not know better. ::sigh::

On a random, more interesting topic, Mr. and Mrs. Smith was a intensely awesome movie. Ok...I wouldn't go that far, the whole plot was filled with holes but the fight scenes were stellar. "The movie entertained me on a level I didn't even know existed."

Now I’m falling asleep...

In my Ears: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
I am: not suprisingly, going to be very very tired in the morning

As I was surfing around joblo.com this morning/evening/whatever you would call it 30 minuites ago, I glanced upon an article about the "Top 10 Dumb Chick Victims" . I must say that I agree with everything that was said, COMPLETELY. What makes me giggle, just a tad bit, was the one part about Final Destination and the TERRRIBLE "dumb chick death" featured in that movie (which is quite funny because I was thinking this exact thing while watching FD on TV a few nights ago)...

As the writer says....

7. Amanda Detmer / Final Destination
Who walks BACKWARDS into the
street and NOT notice a huge bus coming their way? Two words. Peripheral vision. Unless you are completely blind, you should be able to tell from the side of
your eye if you are about to be plowed by a big f*cking bus. Granted, this
character was doomed from the moment she stepped off the plane, and was probably going to die anyways in some other lucrative and imaginative way, but come on!! Use some common sense, girl! Didn’t your mother teach you to look both ways before crossing the damn street?

On the topic of bikes and that sort of thing

In my ears: "Drive my Car" by The Beatles
I am: Burnt to a crisp

I can gladly say that my chances of getting skin cancer are now slightly increased thanks to the sever sun burn that I received a few days ago while riding my bike. I have this nice farmer's tan. I think it's uber sexy.

On a side note, I successfully rode my bike for an hour without hitting a single pedestrian. I think this is a big step for me. It just might be safe enough for people to walk on their neighborhood sidewalks again.

I am now off I do something probably completely unproductive, like stare at the 70% done graffiti project in my garage and wonder why I haven't bought a new can of purple spray paint so that I can finish it.

DYE DYE DYE!!

There is nothing more amusing to me then hearing my family tell me that my hair color is too dark and/or not attractive on me. If you ask me, I look "chiz" awesome.

Ahh!!! HER HEAD IS ON FIRE!!

Theme music: "Sinner's Prayer" by Ray Charles and B.B. King
I am: the most awesome red-head in the whole freakin' world!

I was kind-of under the weather this morning so, like normal people, I dragged my sorry butt out of bed, found a box of hair dye (I had originally bought for Andrew, who at some point chickened out and decided against changing his hair color; probably a good thing) and dyed the heck out of my hair. I must say, I look hot. Yeah that's right, I lie to myself in order to boost my self-esteem. It usually works for a few hours. Then I have to restort to the comfort of cookies and orange soda.

I also played a viscous game of DDR on xbox live as well. My dream is to beat Natalie. THAT'S RIGHT NATALIE, I WILL BEAT YOU!!! I WILL!!!!

I am off to work now. Yes...work...can you sense the enthusiasm in that sentence?

A few of my favorite thinnnnngs!

Natalie has kindly tagged me forcing me to post at least 10 of my favorite things. This is more difficult than it sounds.

~Bruce Campbell and Bruce Campbell look-alikes and/or impersonators
~Faux-hawks (ohhhh so sexy faux-hawks!)
~The word "Sacagawea"
~The smell of freshly popped, non-burnt, salty, and delicious popcorn when I open the theater
~Hannah and Natalie's witty banter
~The way Dave Eggers can make you laugh at cancer and tiny children being attacked with 12 inch knives.
~Strong Bad Email #68, "Caper"
~ Koosh Balls...KOOOOOSH!
~Orange Soda...I do, I do, I dooo oooo
~ Geico commercials

Note that I didn't mention Ryan Reynolds' fashion sense or hot sauce. I thought the obvious didn't need to be stated.

As if X-Files needed to get any cooler

Theme Song: "Old School Hollywood" by System of a Down
I am: not amused

I was surprise and quite impressed to find out that, yes Virginia, X-Files can get cooler. Upon stumbling upon an old episode at 1 AM, I was shocked to see... the one, the only, BRUCE CAMPBELL! That's right...BRUCE FREAKIN CAMPBELL WAS ON X-FILES! I immediately went all wide eyed and quite possibly stopped breathing for several minutes. Sadly the "not-so-genius" creators of this fine show did not use Bruce to his full potential. For you see, he was playing a devil that was impregnating Multiple women, then stealing their babies in hopes of attempting to father a "normal baby" (aka a child who literally does not sprout horns while still in the womb). It saddens me to say that the make-up that was pasted onto Bruce was...well shoty. While in "devil/demon" form he sported red face paint, plastic horns, and a very pointy beard/chin. Talk about cliche. ::shakes head in disappointment:: I believe a little piece of every Army of Darkness fan died that day.

As graceful as a one-legged platypus

Theme song: "Breed" by Nirvana (which I am convinced doesn't really have any lyrics and consists of 'Cobaine' saying 'dun dunnn dunnn nuu nuuuuu' a bunch of times)

I am: winning the staring contest I am having with my dog

This post really wasn't going anywhere. I just felt the need to show how pathetic my life must be if I am actually investing my time in proving that I can stare at my dog longer then she can stare at me.

Oh but what a lovely way to suffocate

Theme Song: "Back in the USSR" by the Beatles
I am: waiting to take my next final and be done with this "God-Forsaken" school for 3 months

I am about 75% done with my graffiti project and am pleased to announce that I will soon die soon from the fumes I inhaled the other day. Although, when they do the autopsy to find out why a ripe 19-year-old died, they will find that my lungs are coated with a nice thick layer of purple and grey spray paint. Mmm lung paint.

I don't have much time to write because I must be off to take another mind blowing final from the geniuses at SMSU, but this is pretty much the only thing I am going to be able to write today. After my COM 115 test I must be off to my dorm room to clean and check out. I'LL FINALLY BE OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE!

On a side note I was watching Roseanne a few nights ago, don't ask why, and noticed that a very attractive 13/14-year-old boy who played a quarterback resembled a young Stephen Dorff. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, at one time I was obsessed with the hunky Stephen Dorff. Don't get me wrong, the man is smokin' but I'm not into guys who appear in Britney Spears videos and get drunk with Pamela Anderson. Uck. Anyway, so I keep saying to my self, "Man, this kid looks EXACTLY like Stephen Dorff! I wonder if it is." Soon I start doubting myself with little phrases like, "That can't possibly be him." But deep down I knew gosh darn it! I KNEW! The end credit begin to roll and RIGHT SMACK THERE I SEE STEPHEN DORFF'S NAME! I FREAKIN KNEW IT. I was so proud of my self I considered calling Natalie at 2:30 am just to tell her how awesome I was. I decided against that idea and chose to call Andrew the next day at noonish instead. Though it sounded like he didn't care, and was mildly irritated, I know deep down he was crying from the joy from the sheer fact that I could pick young Stephen Dorff out of a crowd. A talent that I'm sure he envies like all my friends.

So excuse me for forgetting, but these things I do...

Song of the moment: "Your Song" by the beautiful and much talented Ewan McGregor
I am: watching "Primer" for the 4th time. I still get a headache when I approach the last 15 minutes.

I found one of my missing Moulin Rouge CDs today. My mother had it stashed away in my car. Which I began to get angry about and then I remember I had put it there when I borrowed her car.

I'm back on a Ewan McGregor kick. Not that Ryan Reynolds will ever be replaced but after listening to Ewan's sweet sweet voice in Moulin Rouge how could you not adore him? Seriously? THE MAN DRESSED HIS 1 YEAR-OLD KID IN A T-SHIRT THAT SAID PERVERT! How awesome is that? Not to mention the extensive nudity. It takes a "real" man to be naked in almost 80% of his movies. Not really. I don't enjoy the nude-ness so much (just ask, Natalie OH THE HORROR OF VELVET GOLDMINE!!) but I'm just looking for reasons to say he's cool.

Over the past few days I have been attempting to teach myself various stupid human ticks such as juggling, coin rolling (over my knuckles like Jude in Road to Perdition. That was so sexy.), and card flipping. So far I have not succeeded in any of these "tricks." Though, today I got an "A" rating on one of my most hated of levels in DDR. I am one dancing fool.

I like to call it, "Maliciously Delicious!"

My head itches again. That could be because I am attempting to think or it could be the "pox."

Anyway...

Song that I desperately want to buy off iTunes: "With a little help from my friends" by Joe Cocker (The Wonder Years Theme Song) I LOVE THAT SHOW!
I am: a rock...I am an iiiiiiisland dun dunnnuuu dun dun (Thank you Simon and Garfunkel. Your music stays in my head for days after I toss the CD out the window.)

There really is not point to this post other than to keep my mind off of the fact that the only food we have to eat in this house is chicken noodle soup and some nasty pasta left over from a few days ago. Oh wait, there's corn bread!

Obsession is a 9 letter word

I am: Less itchy more...uh..twitchy
Theme Music: I haven't listened to my iPod in at least a week because of the "pox" so this category will be left blank for the moment

NEED....SOCIAL INTERACTION......WITH...... REAL HUMAN BEINGS!! Dear Lord, I have been stuck in this house for so long that I am about to go insane. INSANE I SAY! Last night I was so bored that I started drawing random things like, a pencil, some tape, and then RYAN REYNOLDS! GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Actually the picture looks really awesome BUT I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER DO FAN ART!! NEVER!!! Oh the new lows I have sunk to! Now I'm one of the sick, sad, pathetic, people known as fan artists. WHY??? WHYYYYYYYY?!

Disclosure: I totally still think you're cool Hannah. You are the exception to the rule. Your Jude Law picture rocked my face off.

On a side note: I haven't had hot sauce in 2 weeks now because it is stuck at my dorms and I am stuck here. My tongue misses that sweet sweet taste. I had to eat fried chicken last night without it. Uck. It was disgusting. Then today I had to eat cottage cheese without it! Double UCK! I'd love to go to the store and buy so but I'd also love to not contaminate the entire city of Springfield with chicken pox. Hmmm. What will I do?

I will consume you CHICKEN POX OF DEATH

So I have the chicken pox. Yep. My life just gets better by the second.

It's day 4 or something (time and space have lost their importance) and my nose has started to run. Not only do I look like some kind of "Boil Child" but now I have snot all over my face. This is how I shall catch a man.

Oh man, you guys should see the honkin' pill I have to take 3 times a day. ITS A FREAKIN BEHEMOTH! The first day I had to take it I freaked out because I cannot take pills. Yes I know it's a psychological thing. The doctor insisted that I wouldn't choke. So I took it home, chopped it up into four pieces, grabbed some sprite, and tried to swallow the stupid pill. Ironically it got lodged in the throat and I ended up heaving for like 5 minutes until it went down. Now I chop that pill up into about 7 pieces. Let's see it get stuck in my throat now! Yeah, that right. I showed that pill who's boss!

On the plus side of everything, when they were making me wait in urgent care for 2 and 1/2 hours (how they couldn't tell I had chicken pox is beyond me) and then checked me in, I found out that I had lost 6 pounds since the last time I was weighed! I can either assume that that was from the chicken pox or I could assume that the working out actually paid off. I'd like to think that the exercise was the reason.