Dear Angry Nitpicky Grossly Emo Rage-a-holic,

Oh my goodness you have a problem! Someone needs to take a chill pill and quick. What I have seen of you the past month or so has made me fearful of your future. I don't think I've ever met anyone who has such a rage problem as you. I have yet to spend an hour with you, without you flipping out over one thing or another. What scares me the most is that your anger is explosive; it comes in unforeseen bouts. I'm seriously concerned about being around you. You remember that Alanis Morissette song "You Oughta Know"? You remember how hostile that song is? I'm convinced that you wrote that song. It reeks of your whiny, vindictive tone.

Here's the underlined issue; it's hard for me to trust you when I never know when you're going to turn on me and go on some rant about how I did or didn't do some little thing that annoys you. I know about your little discussions that you have had with others in the past few weeks. I'm aware of your random fits animosity. What's funny is that I find this behavior more pitiful than anything. True, I could get all pissy about all the things you've said and done but I feel more sorrow for your life more than anything.

It will hurt when you hit rock bottom

It bothers me that I am losing respect for you. I know it is only a matter of weeks, if not days that I won't even know who you are any more.

Me do good, me do good photo?

Today I stumbled upon a set of engagement photos for some people that I know. I wouldn't call them my friends...we don't really hang out, but I have known them for quite some time, and they know me. As I was flipping through this set of photos a wicked self centered, egotistical thought crossed my mind. I actually said to myself, "Wow. I could have taken better photos then these." I immediately realized what I said and reprimanded...myself. But why? Why should I apologize for acknowledging that I am a good photographer: that my portraits are full of life and have a less cliche feel to them? I'm sorry but there are a lot of crappy photographers around who think that posed pictures are "shizknat". Last year I took some engagement photos for my good friends Jarrod and Sarah (to the left) and I couldn't have been more please with the results. Granted, I did have a few shots that we not up to par, but that's why I took 3 rolls!! THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!! You take tons of photos so you can weed out the crappy ones. I promised myself that I would never become one of those pretentious photographers who thinks that they're the best of the best and I don't. I KNOW there are some really fantastic photographers in town who are MUCH better than me. BUT...there are also a crap ton of photographers in town who are much less talented than me and it pisses me off that they are getting paid...more than me....to take crappy shots.

Tardy people and their tardiness!!

I've always been a big stickler about tardiness. I made very sure to never be tardy in high school and I make it my goal to NEVER be tardy in college. There is nothing more disrespectful then a person walking into class over 15 minutes late, interrupting a lecture that could be detrimental to my college success, just because they overslept. I am more annoyed by the people who are consistently late to class (when I say "late" I am referring to over 10 minutes). If you KNOW that it's going to take you 25 minutes to drive to campus 5 minutes to park and 5 minutes to walk to whatever building you need to be in the PLAN ACCORDINGLY. I do. If I can get to class on time and live in freakin' Egypt, then you can get to class living wherever you live.

and gives us an extra ten minutes to get to class. He doesn't mind if we're running a little late because he understands that is it hard to get to a class that early in the morning. THIS GIRL runs 45 minutes late. How ridiculous is that? Last week we had a critique and we started just around 8:05 am. My teacher had begun by asking a series of questions about what we considered art and what we considered "good art". We begun looking at Which brings me to the Queen of the Tardiness. The teacher for the 8am class is pretty lenienteveryone's photos and talked about the ones that stood out the most. Right at 8:50 am SHE walks in. She notices that everyone's photos are on the wall. Of course the teacher stops...there is an awkward pause as we all stare at her. She pins her photos up on the wall and sits down. My teacher begins to talk again. About 15 minutes later her CELL PHONE rings. Naturally this completely distracts for the current discussion that we were having. Alan tells her to turn it off and gives her the look of death. She looks at him and says, "It's a client." As if that is justification for keeping your cell phone ON during class...a class that your significantly late to.

There is no excuss for being THAT late to a class. What upsets me is, she is being disrespectful and she doesn't even care. Her attitude about it (the "whatever" attitude) is bothersome. I can't understand that. If I PAY for a class, I'm sure as heck going to attend it.

Really? Really? You REALLY think that?

Comment left on my reasearch paper about stopping animal abuse in Circuses, by one of my fellow classmates after workshopping:

"You ranted a bit. You kind of got a bit in our faces. Also, I don't find PETA a repudiable source. I think thye are as corrupt as the people they claim to be fighting against. I don't mean to be mean. I liked your topic & I don't think animals should live in such conditions but I don't like how you compared them with humans because there are people out there who live in worse conditions than circus animals & I think it could be depricating [did she mean deprecating?] to those people's dignity."

I love workshopping in my English class because there is always one ignorant individual who leaves a comment like this. It makes me giggle.

Quick Rant

I have been living in the MSU photo lab for the past month or so in an attempt to get my final project done EXACTLY one day early. This way should something happen, God forbid, I have at least one class peroid to fix it. So I go into the lab today and go up to one of the few open enlargers only to notice that someone else is using it. Which wasn't a big deal. I just went to the englarger next to it (the same make and model) and start to set my stuff down. As I am gently placing my negative binder on the englarger the girl who was using the enlarger next to it says to me, "I'm using that one." To which I respond, "Oh I thought you were using that other one." To which SHE responds, "I AM." This girl was hogging TWO ENGLARGERS!! TWO!! And for what you ask? FOR CONTACT SHEETS!! She wasn't even working on her final project!! Amazingly enough she turns out to be one of those uber stuck-up photography girls who thinks she knows everything about everything and that since she has had ONE more class then me, that her needs surpass mine.

...to be continued

1 of 101 facts you probably didn't know about me

It is extremely hard for me to befriend someone who is younger than me. I know that sounds trival and extremely pety of me but it's true. It always has been. I went to a private preschool/kindergarten/day care in Lawrence. They used to give out these evaluations of the kids every quarter to the parents to let them know how their child was behaving, learning, ect. Mine always said, "Tends to play with the older children more than those of her own age or younger." I've ALWAYS had older friends. I like to be around more mature people and use that to help me grow. It's so hard for me to be around people who are less mature than me. I tend to get very annoyed very quickly. It is RARE for me to find someone younger than me who is mature enough to not drive me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I do have 2 or 3 friends in their teens who could definitely pass for 20-somethings just by behavior alone but I know too many crazy 16-18 year olds who should be kept far, far away from me for fear that I might beat them.

Dear July 7th,

I will say this with full honesty, you were a very bad day. You sucked the life right from my bones, and I am not very ok with that. Sure you started out ok, with your sunshine, and your nice breeze, but then you exploded with the yelling, and the screaming, and the brain wrapping and I didn't like that very much. Yes, indeed, you were a very bad day.

I think that it is only right that I punish you for being such a bad day. From now on, you shall be referred to as, "the day" and when mentioned all will scowl.