Monday, May 30, 2005

A few of my favorite thinnnnngs!

Natalie has kindly tagged me forcing me to post at least 10 of my favorite things. This is more difficult than it sounds.

~Bruce Campbell and Bruce Campbell look-alikes and/or impersonators
~Faux-hawks (ohhhh so sexy faux-hawks!)
~The word "Sacagawea"
~The smell of freshly popped, non-burnt, salty, and delicious popcorn when I open the theater
~Hannah and Natalie's witty banter
~The way Dave Eggers can make you laugh at cancer and tiny children being attacked with 12 inch knives.
~Strong Bad Email #68, "Caper"
~ Koosh Balls...KOOOOOSH!
~Orange Soda...I do, I do, I dooo oooo
~ Geico commercials

Note that I didn't mention Ryan Reynolds' fashion sense or hot sauce. I thought the obvious didn't need to be stated.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

As if X-Files needed to get any cooler

Theme Song: "Old School Hollywood" by System of a Down
I am: not amused

I was surprise and quite impressed to find out that, yes Virginia, X-Files can get cooler. Upon stumbling upon an old episode at 1 AM, I was shocked to see... the one, the only, BRUCE CAMPBELL! That's right...BRUCE FREAKIN CAMPBELL WAS ON X-FILES! I immediately went all wide eyed and quite possibly stopped breathing for several minutes. Sadly the "not-so-genius" creators of this fine show did not use Bruce to his full potential. For you see, he was playing a devil that was impregnating Multiple women, then stealing their babies in hopes of attempting to father a "normal baby" (aka a child who literally does not sprout horns while still in the womb). It saddens me to say that the make-up that was pasted onto Bruce was...well shoty. While in "devil/demon" form he sported red face paint, plastic horns, and a very pointy beard/chin. Talk about cliche. ::shakes head in disappointment:: I believe a little piece of every Army of Darkness fan died that day.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

As graceful as a one-legged platypus

Theme song: "Breed" by Nirvana (which I am convinced doesn't really have any lyrics and consists of 'Cobaine' saying 'dun dunnn dunnn nuu nuuuuu' a bunch of times)

I am: winning the staring contest I am having with my dog


This post really wasn't going anywhere. I just felt the need to show how pathetic my life must be if I am actually investing my time in proving that I can stare at my dog longer then she can stare at me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Oh but what a lovely way to suffocate

Theme Song: "Back in the USSR" by the Beatles
I am: waiting to take my next final and be done with this "God-Forsaken" school for 3 months

I am about 75% done with my graffiti project and am pleased to announce that I will soon die soon from the fumes I inhaled the other day. Although, when they do the autopsy to find out why a ripe 19-year-old died, they will find that my lungs are coated with a nice thick layer of purple and grey spray paint. Mmm lung paint.

I don't have much time to write because I must be off to take another mind blowing final from the geniuses at SMSU, but this is pretty much the only thing I am going to be able to write today. After my COM 115 test I must be off to my dorm room to clean and check out. I'LL FINALLY BE OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE!

On a side note I was watching Roseanne a few nights ago, don't ask why, and noticed that a very attractive 13/14-year-old boy who played a quarterback resembled a young Stephen Dorff. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, at one time I was obsessed with the hunky Stephen Dorff. Don't get me wrong, the man is smokin' but I'm not into guys who appear in Britney Spears videos and get drunk with Pamela Anderson. Uck. Anyway, so I keep saying to my self, "Man, this kid looks EXACTLY like Stephen Dorff! I wonder if it is." Soon I start doubting myself with little phrases like, "That can't possibly be him." But deep down I knew gosh darn it! I KNEW! The end credit begin to roll and RIGHT SMACK THERE I SEE STEPHEN DORFF'S NAME! I FREAKIN KNEW IT. I was so proud of my self I considered calling Natalie at 2:30 am just to tell her how awesome I was. I decided against that idea and chose to call Andrew the next day at noonish instead. Though it sounded like he didn't care, and was mildly irritated, I know deep down he was crying from the joy from the sheer fact that I could pick young Stephen Dorff out of a crowd. A talent that I'm sure he envies like all my friends.

Monday, May 09, 2005

So excuse me for forgetting, but these things I do...

Song of the moment: "Your Song" by the beautiful and much talented Ewan McGregor
I am: watching "Primer" for the 4th time. I still get a headache when I approach the last 15 minutes.

I found one of my missing Moulin Rouge CDs today. My mother had it stashed away in my car. Which I began to get angry about and then I remember I had put it there when I borrowed her car.

I'm back on a Ewan McGregor kick. Not that Ryan Reynolds will ever be replaced but after listening to Ewan's sweet sweet voice in Moulin Rouge how could you not adore him? Seriously? THE MAN DRESSED HIS 1 YEAR-OLD KID IN A T-SHIRT THAT SAID PERVERT! How awesome is that? Not to mention the extensive nudity. It takes a "real" man to be naked in almost 80% of his movies. Not really. I don't enjoy the nude-ness so much (just ask, Natalie OH THE HORROR OF VELVET GOLDMINE!!) but I'm just looking for reasons to say he's cool.

Over the past few days I have been attempting to teach myself various stupid human ticks such as juggling, coin rolling (over my knuckles like Jude in Road to Perdition. That was so sexy.), and card flipping. So far I have not succeeded in any of these "tricks." Though, today I got an "A" rating on one of my most hated of levels in DDR. I am one dancing fool.

Friday, May 06, 2005

I like to call it, "Maliciously Delicious!"

My head itches again. That could be because I am attempting to think or it could be the "pox."

Anyway...

Song that I desperately want to buy off iTunes: "With a little help from my friends" by Joe Cocker (The Wonder Years Theme Song) I LOVE THAT SHOW!
I am: a rock...I am an iiiiiiisland dun dunnnuuu dun dun (Thank you Simon and Garfunkel. Your music stays in my head for days after I toss the CD out the window.)

There really is not point to this post other than to keep my mind off of the fact that the only food we have to eat in this house is chicken noodle soup and some nasty pasta left over from a few days ago. Oh wait, there's corn bread!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Obsession is a 9 letter word

I am: Less itchy more...uh..twitchy
Theme Music: I haven't listened to my iPod in at least a week because of the "pox" so this category will be left blank for the moment

NEED....SOCIAL INTERACTION......WITH...... REAL HUMAN BEINGS!! Dear Lord, I have been stuck in this house for so long that I am about to go insane. INSANE I SAY! Last night I was so bored that I started drawing random things like, a pencil, some tape, and then RYAN REYNOLDS! GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Actually the picture looks really awesome BUT I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER DO FAN ART!! NEVER!!! Oh the new lows I have sunk to! Now I'm one of the sick, sad, pathetic, people known as fan artists. WHY??? WHYYYYYYYY?!

Disclosure: I totally still think you're cool Hannah. You are the exception to the rule. Your Jude Law picture rocked my face off.

On a side note: I haven't had hot sauce in 2 weeks now because it is stuck at my dorms and I am stuck here. My tongue misses that sweet sweet taste. I had to eat fried chicken last night without it. Uck. It was disgusting. Then today I had to eat cottage cheese without it! Double UCK! I'd love to go to the store and buy so but I'd also love to not contaminate the entire city of Springfield with chicken pox. Hmmm. What will I do?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I will consume you CHICKEN POX OF DEATH

So I have the chicken pox. Yep. My life just gets better by the second.

It's day 4 or something (time and space have lost their importance) and my nose has started to run. Not only do I look like some kind of "Boil Child" but now I have snot all over my face. This is how I shall catch a man.

Oh man, you guys should see the honkin' pill I have to take 3 times a day. ITS A FREAKIN BEHEMOTH! The first day I had to take it I freaked out because I cannot take pills. Yes I know it's a psychological thing. The doctor insisted that I wouldn't choke. So I took it home, chopped it up into four pieces, grabbed some sprite, and tried to swallow the stupid pill. Ironically it got lodged in the throat and I ended up heaving for like 5 minutes until it went down. Now I chop that pill up into about 7 pieces. Let's see it get stuck in my throat now! Yeah, that right. I showed that pill who's boss!

On the plus side of everything, when they were making me wait in urgent care for 2 and 1/2 hours (how they couldn't tell I had chicken pox is beyond me) and then checked me in, I found out that I had lost 6 pounds since the last time I was weighed! I can either assume that that was from the chicken pox or I could assume that the working out actually paid off. I'd like to think that the exercise was the reason.