As graceful as a one-legged platypus

Theme song: "Breed" by Nirvana (which I am convinced doesn't really have any lyrics and consists of 'Cobaine' saying 'dun dunnn dunnn nuu nuuuuu' a bunch of times)

I am: winning the staring contest I am having with my dog

This post really wasn't going anywhere. I just felt the need to show how pathetic my life must be if I am actually investing my time in proving that I can stare at my dog longer then she can stare at me.