Ah yes, another Wednesday Night

a reminder about the Young Married Couples Group meeting on Wednesday night flashes on the large screen at Church...

Andrew: I'll never be in that group ::sigh::
Me: Pshh! ::pretends to play a tiny violin in an attempt to mock Andrew's emo-ness::
Andrew: You're never going to be in there either...
Me: You suck.
Tanner: Ha ha!
Andrew: ::looking at Tanner:: I don't know what you're laughing at. No one's ever going to marry you....

EEE!! JAMES IS IN TOWN!! HAAAZAAAAHHHHAAA!! COMIN' TO GET YEEEHAAAAAAWWW!!

LAME

The rant wasn't worth finishing so I am posting this instead:

Ryan: stupid pirated copy is a vcd, which means i have to install a special player

At this point I am saying "arr...tis a pirated copy...arr!" and giggling

Ryan: teh lame
Me: yes
Me: lame!
Ryan: lol
Ryan: i say that word way too much these days
Me: that's lame
Me: you should stop using lame so much
Me: you're lame for using it too much
Ryan: roflcake
Ryan: lame
Ryan: lame
Ryan: lame
Me: I'm glad we're not being redundant here
Ryan: yeah, that would be lame

Another "chat"

L-Dub:
Yay! Hannah's online!!
haazaaha!

Ben:
oh, that clemens...moving so very far away...

L-Dub:
I know
she sucks
speaking of which, how's Michael?

Ben:
haven't heard from him in a while
that usually means he's doing well

L-Dub:
That's good. Usually when people don't hear from me for long periods of time it usually means I've fallen into some sort of dark well
then I start haunting video tapes and I grow my hair out long and I drip water all over the floor
it's just a huge mess

Ben:
oh, great
this means I'll be seeing you in about 4 days

L-Dub:
lol

Ben:
should never have played that tape...

L-Dub:
probably

Andrew: "what did I miss? WHAT DID I MISS?" (refering to LOST)
Me: Your mom! [forgetting that Andrew's mom is dead and it's one of those topics that you just don't bring up...]
Andrew: ::silent::
Andrew: "That's right Laura. I miss my mother every day of my life. Thank you for reminding me of her terrible death."

Sophmore year of highschool...

Me: (looking at text book in history class) I don't understand why all of the great artists were so messed up in the head. Why do you think that is?
Natalie: I don't know Laura, you're the artist. You tell me.

Death by corny joke

Andrew: "I'm hungry" ::holds hand over growling stomach::
Me: "Well, hi hungry, I'm..." ::laughs::
Andrew: "STOP. Do NOT finish that sentence." ::with hand over eyes, ashamed that he knows me::
Me: "..I'm Laura! It's nice to meet you hungry!"
Andrew: "Ew. Stop. Don't ever do that again."
Me: "But it's funny! Get it? See you said 'I'm hungry' and I replied.."
Andrew: "Stop. I get it. It's not funny."
Me: "Yes it is."
Andrew: "No it's not."
Me: "Yes it is."
Andrew: "No."
Me: "But it's funny!"
Andrew: "It's LAME!! You know it's probably because of these lame jokes that guys won't date you."
Me: "....."
Andrew: "Nah..I kid! Your jokes do suck though." ::laughs::
Me: "I hate you."
Andrew: "No you don't."
Me: "Yes I do."
Andrew: "Aw. No you don't."
Me: "Hey! How do you turn a baby into a dog?"
Andrew: "Oh God..."
Me: "Throw it in a trash can, drench it with lighter fluid, throw in a match and WOOF!"
Andrew: "See I would have gone with 'bury it in the ground, let it grow into a tree and then see, it's got bark!' Eh?"
Me: "...."
Andrew: "Hey that was pretty good right?"
Me: "...."
Andrew: "RIGHT?!"
Me: "I think we're missing something important."

I'd like to note that this whole conversation took place during church service tonight.

Is there some kind of support group I can join for this?

Sam: I had a big crush on Scarlett Johansson before she did The Island
Me: lol
Sam: But ever since I saw that...meh. hehe
Me: ever since she hit rock bottom she just hasn't been as hot
Me: lol
Sam: lol
Sam: Well
Sam: She was just so amazing in A Love Song for Bobby Long and Lost in Translation
Sam: I really thought she looked like the most talented actress who's ever lived
Sam: But then she sold out
Me: that whore
Sam: That's the third time you've called someone a whore tonight. Such anger!
Sam: I like it.
Me: I seem to have a problem NOT using that word
Me: Let's see who I've called a whore tonight: My boss (she giggled when I called her it), most of my fellow management staff (they too enjoyed it), Michael, Ben, and Scarlett Johansson
Sam: That's so mean!
Sam: You whore.
Sam: For some reason I love the word whore. I have no idea why.
Me: It rolls off the tongue and into the hearts of millions. Mmm whore...

On a side note: I only called Michael and Ben whores because...

Sam: Well, Michael and Ben were supposed to call me sometime tonight...but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.
Me: Those whores...

Is your quota filled?

if it weren't for iChat I don't believe awesome conversations like this would ever take place...

Ben H: I just haven't seen you in ages, that's all
Me: I know, I suck
Me: hardcore
Ben H: I'm really lacking on my 'time spent with Laura' quota, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go
Me: lol
Ben H: I may be dead before you know it
Me: from a kool aid OD? Because that's how I plan on dying
Ben H: exactly