Dear Angry Nitpicky Grossly Emo Rage-a-holic,

Oh my goodness you have a problem! Someone needs to take a chill pill and quick. What I have seen of you the past month or so has made me fearful of your future. I don't think I've ever met anyone who has such a rage problem as you. I have yet to spend an hour with you, without you flipping out over one thing or another. What scares me the most is that your anger is explosive; it comes in unforeseen bouts. I'm seriously concerned about being around you. You remember that Alanis Morissette song "You Oughta Know"? You remember how hostile that song is? I'm convinced that you wrote that song. It reeks of your whiny, vindictive tone.

Here's the underlined issue; it's hard for me to trust you when I never know when you're going to turn on me and go on some rant about how I did or didn't do some little thing that annoys you. I know about your little discussions that you have had with others in the past few weeks. I'm aware of your random fits animosity. What's funny is that I find this behavior more pitiful than anything. True, I could get all pissy about all the things you've said and done but I feel more sorrow for your life more than anything.

Dear July 7th,

I will say this with full honesty, you were a very bad day. You sucked the life right from my bones, and I am not very ok with that. Sure you started out ok, with your sunshine, and your nice breeze, but then you exploded with the yelling, and the screaming, and the brain wrapping and I didn't like that very much. Yes, indeed, you were a very bad day.

I think that it is only right that I punish you for being such a bad day. From now on, you shall be referred to as, "the day" and when mentioned all will scowl.