Instance #1: I am being held by viscous group of vigilantes wearing cartoon character masks. They are really angry customers who are sick of being charged 27 cents for the extra butter on their "reel deal" #2. They tell me that they will slowly torture my family and me unless I give them their money back. I refuse and tell them to go hump a tree (I tend to get viscous when my life is at stake). This comment angers them. The whip out the "big guns" and expose a month-old batch of popcorn. It looks less than appetizing with its green mold and maggots. They bring the old bucket of popcorn near my face, preparing to force feed it to me and ask once again for their money, a QSP (free drink), and an apology. I cry like a tiny child. They take pity on me and in an act of weakness the vigilantes ask me if I would like "extra butter" on my popcorn.
Instance #2: I am approached by Ryan Reynolds on the street. He has taken noticed of "wonderful personality" (Yeah...I know...shut up). We date for several months and are followed by the paparazzi every day. We are pushed to our limits and resort to using cute code words and phrases to discuss private subjects. After an uber romantic date that tops all dates, he gets down on one knee, whips out a FREAKIN' huge ring, and asks me if "I would like extra butter?"
Instance #3: After years of writing my local congressman, "Opposite Day" is recognized as an official national holiday. To celebrate such holiday, I attend the movie theater with friends to redeem my employee reel deal #1 for that week. According to company policy and government regulations, all Movie Theater, bank, and restaurant employees are not allowed to play "Opposite Day" thus they must ask questions in a normal manner but assume that customers will answer in an opposite manner. Upon giving the on duty concessionist my order they ask if I would like extra butter. I reply "yes" (AKA "no" on opposite day).
Instance #4: While away on a mission trip to Africa/Mexico/China/California (some "God-Forsaken land") a member of my troop is bit by a wild monkey carrying an Ebola-like virus that turns people into zombies. Unaware of this member's contagiousness, we return to the US and the town in which we all live. Soon he/she begins to cough up nasty chunks of lung and attempts to eat us. One by one we all become sick. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) as well as Dustin Hoffman is called in. Soon the entire small town is surrounded by tanks and men with very large guns. After hours of searching for a cure an accidental drop of movie theater grade butter, mixes in with the blood of one of the infected. It is found that the butter seems to smother the virus, thus killing it. Dustin Hoffman carefully administers the cure to each of the infected. In an attempt to keep spirits high Dustin makes jokes and acts out scenes from Rainman. Upon reaching me he jokingly asks if I would "like extra butter with my IV this afternoon?"
Instance #5: Christian Bale (The "Reign of Fire" version) comes up to me shirtless and asks me if I want "Extra Butter." My exact response is, "God yes."
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