Bills

Theme music: "Songs from an american movie" by Everclear
I am: Wondering why in the world no one told me how wonderful orange spray paint is

I have a vandalism problem and I think that I have take the first step by admitting that it does exist. First it was writing on every bathroom stall on the way to and from Georgia and now it’s dollar bills.
The other day, while working box, I became very bored. More bored then I had ever been in my entire life. I decided to show some imitative and do something about it so…I started writing on one dollar bills. It wasn’t as if I was destroying the image of the bill. In fact it was in that very small border in which nothing sits. I thought of how awesome it would be if one of my friends was handed a dollar bill and found their name and “rocks my face off” on it. So started putting “ [insert name here] rocks my face off” on about 20 bills. Though it would have been killer if I had done several names, I realized that it would take longer for them to circulate back so I only did two names. I feel as though if I were to tell those names then the element of surprise would be destroyed so I everyone will just have to wait about twenty years to see if it was them who I destroyed government property for. How sad. By the end of my shift, I had successfully written on 25 one-dollar bills and had handed them back to customers.

Apparently, it is a federal offense to vandalize currency. Eh, whatever. I always wanted to see what it was like in prison. I can see it now. Me in a jail cell with some burly woman as she tells me about how she stabbed some secret service guys. “So what are you in for?” she will ask.
“I wrote on some one-dollar bills.” I shall say.