Fear-Provoking Friday Five

1. Goosebumps: Freaky Awesome or Cheesy?

I was always a fan of Goosebumps. They were cheesy in an awesome, “I’m going to teach you about morals by having this kid be terrorized by his worst fear” way.

2. The Ring: The reason I currently wet my bed at night or the reason I currently hate all American adaptations of Japanese horror movies?

I think the Ring 2 is currently the “reason I hate all American adaptations of Japanese Horror Movies.” The movie was so lame that I wanted to eat a bucket of popcorn with extra butter rather than sit in that theater any longer. As for The Ring, that movie freaked me out. I seriously couldn’t watch anything on VHS for weeks without someone else in the room.

3. Wes Craven has locked you in a room which materializes all of your fears. What lurks in the shadows?

Dolphins who sound like Jeff Goldblum when they talk.

4. Scariest Celeb: Angelina "I wear my husband's blood around my neck" Jolie or Cillian "I always play the creepy skinny guy in movies" Murphy?

Cillian Murphy creeps me out more than any celebrity. I distrust all skinny men since I saw the “Machinist.” Not to mention, Cillian is too skinny for his own good.

5. While driving down a winding dirt road off in the country you accidentally hit something significantly larger than a squirrel. You get out to see what poor woodland creature you have slaughtered only to find that you have just run over Stephen King (making this the 5th time Stephen had been hit by a car). You examine your choices and decide that...

…he looks reasonably ok for a man who has just been hit by a car and I end up taking him back to my house which is conveniently located in the middle of no where. When he awakes at my house I say, “I am your number one fan, Mr. King. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan” in a creepy Kathy Bates voice. I nurse him back to health for several months while never allowing him to leave. When his is well enough to type again I force him to write a new zombie novel that includes me as one of the main characters. At some point he tries to set me on fire and escapes. But on the plus side, the book is a huge success.
-a la “Misery.” If you haven’t seen that movie I HIGHLY recommend it.-