The last two days at work have taught me the following:

1. I am a moron who is not even capable to complete even the most remedial of jobs.
2. I only cause more work for those around me and thus should be locked in some sort of padded box.
3. Did I mention that I never do anything right? Yes? No? Well apparently I don't. I shouldn't touch things. They tend to explode.

On a slightly more entertaining note, I have found the phrase, "Earth babies, jump in my mouth! Do it." to be highly addictive.