Now don't get too excited

Upon gazing at the grand amount of food my parents have so thankfully donated to the "Feed Laura Fund" I took note of the Valentines candy. I wanted to let all of you know I am now searching for a Valentine. If any of you have any prospects please send them my way. I can't say that I won't be bias toward Ryan Reynolds we he hears that I am single and dumps Alanis Morissette.

Top 5 things you should not roll around naked in:

5. Cold Hard Cash
First off everyone has touched those bills at one point or another. Secondly, paper cuts are killer. There are just some places that you DON'T WANT A PAPERCUT.

4. Coinage
So let's say that you still want to roll around in money but you want to avoid paper cuts or maybe a hundred dollars looks better in quarters. Well, let me just say this; if a penny can get stuck in a child's nose, then I do not want to know where a quarter can get stuck. Ew.

3. Honey
Though they make it sound very sexy, at the end of the day, who really wants to walk around sticky with bugs hovering around them?

2. Sand
I know you've all see the Chris Isaac video and thought, "Gee wiz! Maybe, I took can be that hot by finding someone of the opposite sex and rolling around a beach with them!" No. Just no. There are all sorts of nasty things on the beach. Hello people! Haven't you heard about all those hypodermic needles people just toss onto the beach? I mean there you'd be, rolling around in the sand with your significant other and BOOM! You get AIDS and not the sexually transmitted way.

1. Parachutes
You could be having your fun and suddenly find yourself choking to death on one of those stupid strings. Let's face it people, death by string just isn't entertaining. Take Pearl Harbor for instance. Kate Beckinsale and Josh Hartnett could have DIED!!! Not that would have been a bad thing...

Finally please people, do not imitate the movies and try to make love on dining room tables, desks, and especially kitchen counters. There's nothing less romantic than burning your lover's butt because someone forgot that the stove was on.