Reality check on cannibals, hobos, and zombies

11:58 PM
Andrew: boobs
Me: boobs
Andrew: i find it's a very good conversation starter
Me: true dat true dat
Me: do I sound cooler when I use "dat"
Andrew: a little
Me: street lingo makes me feel awesome

Me: what do you think cannibals snack on?
Me: flesh chips?
Me: Dehydrated flesh chips?
Andrew: gross
Andrew: and yes, i would think so
Me: or do you think they keep a bucket of fingers around the house
Me: kind of like a bucket of chicken
Me: only it's fingers
Andrew: i guess we should befriend some cannibals and hang out at their pad to study them more closely
Me: yes
Me: this sounds like a very excellent plan
Me:sometimes I wonder if Justin fights back cannibalistic urges
Me: he gets that "look" in his eyes
Andrew: he does have a hairy chest
Me: What does having a hairy chest have to do with cannibals?
Andrew: think about it
::LONG PAUSE::
Me: nope, I'm still confused
Andrew: well, i can't explain it to you then
Andrew: either you get it or you get it
Andrew: or i'm just messing with you
Me: my head hurts
Andrew: as well it should
Me: If you touch a hobo do you have to get a tetanus shot?
Me: or does that only apply to zombies?
Andrew: i don't know, but either way, Scott and I are covered
Me: Good to know

That you have but slumbered here

That you have but slumbered here
Originally uploaded by HotsauceJane.

This picture looks 10 times better when you see it in it's full size but you all will have to deal with what you can get.

A friend of mine took me out to this really nifty abandoned trailer park that she and another friend had found completely on accident. It was literally as if this giant area what hit with some sort of nature bomb. Cement steps and foundations were left behind but hidden by vines and weeds.

"The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man’s hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was."

I dress up with a conscience
When I think you’ll be watching
I say all the right things
I don’t know what I mean

Am i
Am i
Getting through
Am i
Am i
Getting through

And now for a serious question:

Bear vs Shark....who would win?

1 of 101 facts you probably didn't know about me

It is extremely hard for me to befriend someone who is younger than me. I know that sounds trival and extremely pety of me but it's true. It always has been. I went to a private preschool/kindergarten/day care in Lawrence. They used to give out these evaluations of the kids every quarter to the parents to let them know how their child was behaving, learning, ect. Mine always said, "Tends to play with the older children more than those of her own age or younger." I've ALWAYS had older friends. I like to be around more mature people and use that to help me grow. It's so hard for me to be around people who are less mature than me. I tend to get very annoyed very quickly. It is RARE for me to find someone younger than me who is mature enough to not drive me nuts. Don't get me wrong, I do have 2 or 3 friends in their teens who could definitely pass for 20-somethings just by behavior alone but I know too many crazy 16-18 year olds who should be kept far, far away from me for fear that I might beat them.

That's right, my first update in months is about Val Kilmer

iTunes: "Online Songs" by Blink 182
I am: stagnant

I have decided to add Val Kilmer to my list of celebrities that I am determined to meet. My reasons why are simple:

1. Geniuses
2. The Ghost and the Darkness
3. "I'll be your huckleberry..."

Nuff said about that.

On a slightly less humorous note:
I have successfully found myself in a terrible situation in which no matter what I do, I am screwed and unfortunately the people who put me there could definitely care less (one might say they are "careless" haha). The empty and very shallow part of me wishes that they endure nothing less than 5 hours of listening to Thursday or worse...::dramatic music:: watching The Hulk back to back with every movie on my "Top Ten Worst Movies I Have Suffered Through" list. I think said punishment is well suited.

Responsibility? Psh!

iTunes: "Blood on the Ground" by Incubus
I am: the personifaction of wrath

"Quiet down before God,
be prayerful before him.
Don't bother with those who climb the ladder,
who elbow their way to the top.

Bridle your anger, trash your wrath,
cool your pipes—it only makes things worse.
Before long the crooks will be bankrupt;
God-investors will soon own the store."
-Psalm 37:7-9

My Prestige

In a manner of speaking let me show you my hands, palms forward, fingers splayed, and I will say to you (and mark this well): "Every word of this is true and not a facade by any means". Now I rotate my hands so that you may see their backs, and I say to you: "You have nothing to loose."
Finally, I tweak at the cuffs of my jacet to reveal my wrists, and I say to you: "After all, what would I have to gain by writing nothing but the truth?"

"Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on....
...But jealous souls will not be answered so.
They are not ever jealous for the cause,
But jealous for they're jealous. It is a monster
Begot upon itself, born on itself."
-Othello Act III, iii and iv

Because I am not Anne Hathaway and you are not Chris Pine

iTunes: "Volcano" by Damien Rice
I am: restive

I'm going to take a second here to have a massive product placement moment (a la Minority Report) and force all of you to check out The X Degree, for the simple fact that a friend of mine created it and it's awesome. Are you ready for it? Ready now? Now??!! NOW??!!!!

THE X DEGREE

Glad that we could get through that together. I believe I can continue on to my real post now:

Good times, good times. I learned many things tonight. One of which being that I am apparently still lingering in the 7th grade and playing charades is no way to get what you want (metaphorically speaking, of course). Haha, oh me and my awesome metaphors! Could I be any more inventive?

Dear July 7th,

I will say this with full honesty, you were a very bad day. You sucked the life right from my bones, and I am not very ok with that. Sure you started out ok, with your sunshine, and your nice breeze, but then you exploded with the yelling, and the screaming, and the brain wrapping and I didn't like that very much. Yes, indeed, you were a very bad day.

I think that it is only right that I punish you for being such a bad day. From now on, you shall be referred to as, "the day" and when mentioned all will scowl.

Is your quota filled?

if it weren't for iChat I don't believe awesome conversations like this would ever take place...

Ben H: I just haven't seen you in ages, that's all
Me: I know, I suck
Me: hardcore
Ben H: I'm really lacking on my 'time spent with Laura' quota, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go
Me: lol
Ben H: I may be dead before you know it
Me: from a kool aid OD? Because that's how I plan on dying
Ben H: exactly

I saw 126 fanny-packs at Silver Dollar City today. Where did the world go wrong?

Into the tumbling billows

I am: nonplussed
iTunes: "I Me Mine" by The Beatles

"Why, I in this weak piping time of peace
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity.
And therefore since I cannot prove a lover
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days."
-Richard III Scene I, Act i

Why would you ever need a travel size bedazzeler? Who bedazzels on the road?

"I am fire and air"

iTunes: "Infected" by Bad Religion
I am: Addicted to Guitar Hero

WHY? WHY MUST VIDEO GAMES LIKE GUITAR HERO CONSUME MY LIFE?

I finally was able to watch Superman Returns the other night and well, it was good. It's wasn't AMAZING, but it was good. I had some tiny problems with the movie:

SPOILERS:

1. Superman represents everything that is moral and good with the world. He's basically metropolis' "Boy Scout". That's what makes him so fantastic and different from the other super heroes, mostly Batman. So why in the world would he, have sex with Lois Lane (in Superman II), erase her memory (in Superman II), then find out that, that one night of passionate love resulted in offspring (Superman Returns) and not say something to Lois like, "Hey, by the way...um...we kind of got it on one night...and well I had to erase your memory. Oops? Right? Heheh..."

2. Why didn't Lois ask herself why she can't remember this night of passion? You'd think she'd be uber pissed that Superman erased her memory. I know, that if I just randomly found out that my 5-year-old child is super strong I would immediately wonder if Superman slipped me a ruffie. I mean, Lois is this very strong willed character that would definitely be upset about something like that. How did Lois NOT notice that she was pregnate? Wait, are they saying that right after Superman left, she hooked up with some other guy? She put out on the first date? THIS IS WRONG!

3. Wait...wait..so she is going to continue to be engaged to some dweeb even though she JUST found out that her kid is the result of a hot and steamy night with Superman and not acutally her fiance's kid? Does she have any plans to let her fiance know about this? More importantly, SUPERMAN JUST RETURNED FROM A 5 YEAR HIATUS AND IS MUCH BETTER LOOKING THEN SOME SILLY PILOT!! There is no way I can believe that. Brandon Routh IS MUCH better looking than James Marsden.

5. Clark Kent disappears for 5 years and magically returns at the exact same time that Superman returns...and no one noticed? Really? REALLY? I know that Clark is supposed to be this very forgettable, nerdy, character, but really? I mean, Lois Lane's kid figures it out within ten seconds after seeing a picture of Superman on the TV screen next to Clark Kent, yet no one else can figure this out?

iTunes: "Certain Shade of Green"

You're stirring up something fierce with your actions.

"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes"

-Macbeth: Act IV, Scene I.

Fashionably Angry

I've been hiding this for a while now, but I think it's time to come clean. Time, to unshade the dark part of my life and admit the dirty, dirty truth....

I do believe I am madly in love with Anderson Cooper. Who would have thought that CNN could be so sexy?

But in all seriousness...here's my post:

iTunes: "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach
I am: Facetious


I think I can bring myself to tell you all that I spent a good hour discussing with one of my employees why Superman could never procreate (an argument which I'm sure will posted in the days that follow just for the pure entertainment vaule it holds).

I must admit that being awoken on a daily basis, an hour BEFORE my alarm is about to go off, to be reminded that you dog is dying, is not what I would call a "good begining" to any day. Hm.

Yooozah!

Yooozah!
Originally uploaded by HotsauceJane.

I drew this up a few days ago. I've decided that this will be my new emblem. I heart it with a passion!

Et tu, Brute?- Then fall Caesar

"Romans, countrymen, and lovers! Hear me for the cause and be silent that you may hear" I am proud to announce that I finally finished Julius Caesar. Yes, I know. ::Bows to the tremendous applause that surely following this announcement:: You may stop applauding now. I know I'm awesome. What is next on Laura's summer reading list, you ask? Well, it's a touch decision between Hamlet, Macbeth (both of which I have already read but do not own) and Antony and Cleopatra. I'm leaning toward the last one (I'm a sucker for those tragic love stories, well, that and any story that incorporates death by snake bite is always a winner).

I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth

Act II, Scene ii

I've found myself in a perpetual state of boredom. Nothing seems to really entertain me anymore. Maybe it's the fact that doing things by yourself just isn't the same but everything seems a dull shade of gray. I went to the MSU Design Gallery to view an exhibit that had enticed me (naturally by myself because once again, no one held any interest in something that interested me) and found that what was supposed to be the highlight of my day, was more of just a mere distraction. I've been attempting to do things interesting like checking out new, indie comic book shops, browsing the ARMY surplus store for excellent deals on BDUs (you never know when you'll need a good camo outfit), watching fantastic art films at the Moxie, and even listening to a few of my favorite local bands, but it's all just monotonous junk to fill time without someone else.