Those darn Pumpkins will get you every year!

iTunes: "Innocence Maintained" by Jewel
I am: pretty gosh darn freaked out because my mom just told me that there is a hurricane headed straight for our cruise destination.

This is terrible delayed but these are pictures from the Pumpkin Carving Party that Andrew and I went to a few nights ago. The pictures entertain me.

Andrew and I's pumpkins bond. Notice how happy mine looks. Andrew said it reminded him of Mike from Monster's Inc and that I should be paying Pixar for the use of their image.

 

Kerri tries her hand at "Pumpkin Carving."

 

Andrew makes his "AHHHHH" face.

 

Andrew attempts to stab his pumpkin. (Mine is the one to the right with one eye and a craaaazy smile)

 

Everyone, meet Becky. She too joined in on the pumpkin carving fun-ness.

 

And then said, "Whaa?!"

There are 20 members of my family going on this cruise. That is everyone on my mother's side. EVERYONE. Whoa...

Keep the traffic flowing

iTunes: "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West

I am: a low down dirty fool.

I find it completely annoying when I leave messages for people specifically stating that I require a call in return and receive no call. Especially when I am in dire need of talking to them not for entertainment reasons but for actual dire reasons like I'm being attacked by clones (haha, bad joke)! Now even though this is definitely on my top ten pet peeves list, I definitely do not deserve to complain because I, too fail to return calls. Yeah, I know. It's annoying.

Oh wait, the phone's ringing...yep, yep yep yep. ARG! FEAR MY WRATH!!

All anger aside, I got fabulous news on Friday. Fab news. So fab that I wanted to run to the top of the Springfield 8 and scream it at the top of my lungs, but I didn't. Time didn't allow it.

I'm freaking out about this cruise. Really am.
1. I have yet to pack.
2. I do not want to re-enact the Titanic (though I might finally get that well-deserved Oscar of mine).
3. It's hurricane season.
4. I have a Metals project due the day I get back.
5. I have an Art History test the day I get back.

Though I am looking forward to seeing my sister. I only get to see her about two times a year so I'm psyched. I just hope I don't get attacked by man-eating dolphins. That would suck. I'd probably still have to hobble back and take that Art History test.

But back to me having an angry day:
So do you think that some people just wake up in the morning and say to themselves, "Hey! I'm going to act like a total tool today!"? Hm. Interesting.

Why Hannah should drive me home EVERY NIGHT

Natalie had invited us all over to watch some sort of movie (wish I could remember what it was) and well Hannah was responsible for driving Ben H. and I home. So there we were driving along talking about how crappy the movie was and....

Me: Look out! (notices poor innocent skunk in the middle of the road)
Hannah: F***! (not even attempting to censor herself or swerve, she hits the skunk and I watch in horror)
Me: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD YOU JUST KILLED....
Hannah: F***! It's going to take a month to get the smell of dead animal out of my car!
Ben H: ::laughing like a mad man in the back seat::
Me: You...just...hit...that..
Hannah: F***!!
Me: I saw....that skunk die!! I looked right into it's eyes!
Hannah: F***!
Ben H: ::crying from laughing so hard::
[then the smell hits]
Everyone: ahhhhh!!

Verbose Friday Five

1. Five words that describe your current living situation:
[in five words...] I pay absolutely no rent

2. Five words that describe your current job situation:
inferno, torture, vile, detestable, dreaded

3. Five words that describe your current style situation:
rare, careless, unparalleled, fantastic, amusing

4. Five words that describe your current friend situation:
primo, stellar, wicked, awesome [to the MAX!], jocular

5. Five words that describe your current money situation:
[in five words...] Spent it all on this

I worked on this today. It looks 10 times better from the side them from the front. I'm not finished with it and I've changed it a million times now. Urg. I hate working with chalk pastels! 

Numbers

iTunes: "Stay Don't Go" by Spoon
I am: a thrift store chair

Number of squirrels I saw on campus, just today:
5

Number of times someone asked me about my tattoo/mentioned my tattoo today:
4

Number of times Kevin said "Your mom" tonight:
2

Number of miles to the Pasadena Museum of California Art:
1,605 mi (about 1 day 3 hours by car)

Number of Led Zeppelin shirts I've seen at MSU in the last two weeks:
12 (I'm not even joking)

Number of times I tried to re-record my voicemail greeting today:
5

Number of songs on my iPod:
772

Number of annoyed voicemails I got today:
1

Amount of cash I need for my baby:
$2,299.00

Voicemails that make my day

All from today...

Dad:

"I fell for your voicemail. I thought you would enjoy hearing that. Give me a call back. We need to talk about the cruise."

Hannah:

"I fell for your voicemail AGAIN...I hate you. I really do. So much. Anyway I'm going to be at worship service till [insert correct time here] so you can call me before then or just leave a message. Or whatever."

Kevin: My vote for best voice message ever

"Laura....your voicemail is so annoying.....it's too long....and annoying...and I hate it....and I hate you....so.....in return.....I am leaving you.....a.....reallllly....long message. In response to your message to me...no. I think when you asked if I wanted to borrow the movie you really meant, 'Will you watch it with me?' Yes. Yes I will watch it with you....next to you...on your couch...yeah. So yeah. I'll watch it with you. Bye."

Rockin' Friday Five

1. Create a band using anyone you want, from any other band, or whoever. Heck, put yourself in it.

Dave Grohl on drums (you might remember him from Nirvana or the Foo Fighters or Queens of the Stone Age), Dean Bernardini would be our bassist (from Chevelle), Matthew Bellamy (MUSE) and Pete Loeffler (Chevelle) on lead guitar, vocals, and keyboard. I'd manage this band and require at least 30% of the profits and if anyone tried to say that we suck, we just beat them senseless.

2. Name it.

They'd be called "Sugarless Candy." I'm not quite sure why but at the time it seemed like a good idea.

3. And tell us what your first single will be called.

The titles wouldn't be important and probably wouldn't even relate to the songs but I can tell you that they will not be naming a song "Stockholm syndrome." Every band seems to have some song named that and "Sugarless Candy is too cool to be like every band.

4. It's a one-hit wonder, isn't it?

No, not really. They have the beauty of MUSE mixed with the awesomeness of Chevelle. No one will be able to resist our music. In fact, their music will be so powerful that people will throw money at us.

5. Do survive the public scrutiny?

Hello. Dave Grohl is in our band.

Rules to running into old acquaintances

So there you are sitting, minding your own business when you run into an old friend that you haven't seen for quite some time. He/she ask you how you are and general conversation arises. Everything is pleasant and you wonder why, oh why, you didn't call this person back sooner. They tell you about how awesome their life is and how super fantastic their significant-other is. Then he/she asks, in that friendly and polite manor, who you are seeing (just to keep the conversation, mind you. They have no underlined reason for asking.) You release that normal but awkward laugh and try to explain that you are still as lonely and pathetic as you were when you last saw them. Silence. You wait...still with the awkward laugh and then person says, "Oh, really? Wow. Have you dated anyone?"
You respond, "Nope. As you might have guessed my life is still as pitiful as the day I met you but thanks for bringing that up. I mean, really, I needed to be reminded today about how terrible I am at love and such." THEN, as if they didn't get the hint, they ask, "Why?" Who in their right mind asks why? Seriously. WHY ASK WHY. You know why. Don't ask. Don't. It's really not necessary. Anyway, stunned by the fact that this ignoramus has the audacity to ask, "Why?" you find yourself lacking in reasons and decide that this would be the appropriate moment to start glaring at the person in hopes that your evil gaze will cause their HEAD TO EXPLODE.

No news is good news

Last 10 songs to play on my iPod while in "shuffle" mode:

Under My Umbrella- Incubus
Walkin' Back to Georgia- Jim Croce
Best Imitation of Myself- Ben Folds (live tour)
Grab Thy Hand- Chevelle (live tour)
I have to put some commentary in just because this CD is so great. Before Chevelle starts playing this they say, "Here's one for the ladies in the house...". Good stuff.
The Small Print- Muse
Nobody Knows When You're Down & Out- Eric Clapton (Unplugged)
Aliens Exist- Blink 182
Breathe- Nickelback
Televators- The Mars Volta
Father of Mine- Everclear

It doesn't seem like any of those songs mix well with each other, but it doesn't matter. I really should delete that Mars Volta song off of iTunes though. It's really crappy.

So, as if seeing that I listen to Jim Croce, isn't enough proof that I'm pretty gosh darn lame, I must inform you that I almost threw my Xbox out the window yesterday afternoon. I was trying to beat this "level" on DDR. I had been playing it for about 3 hours straight, no break, no water, no nothin' when I realized that it just wasn't going to happen. I'm sure I could attribute my lack of awesomeness to the fact that I was highly dehydrated but that would just be some sort of cop out. Natalie: Feel free to buy this for me.

Which reminds me: Hannah...see, it can't be lame if it's everywhere.

SPOOOOOOOON!

iTunes: "I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon
I am: lethargic

I love Wal-Mart. Wait. Correction. I love the toy section of Wal-Mart. I was hanging around there today and ran into the new Furby that apparently recognizes speech. You pat it's belly and it'll ask you "You...friend?" and then you are supposed to respond.

So there I am. Standing in front of this adorable and yet freaky thing while it asks me if I'm it's friend over and over. I look around...make sure no one was around...and quietly respond "yes" in hopes that it would shut up. Then it starts freakin' out and made what sounded like some sort of obnoxious "crying" noise. Naturally it drew all sorts of attention. I have never been so embarrassed. Clearly this "Furby" is made by Satan.

Nice gate...yeah...

iTunes: "Right Through You" by Alanis Morissette (the acoustic version)
I am: popping Tylenol like it's some sort of sweet, sweet candy.

My lungs/chest/whatever are killing me this morning. This is the second time in the last week I've had these terrible pain attacks that have lasted over 24 hours. I probably have a lung tumor or lung cancer or maybe even some sort of freakish virus that causes my lungs to turn to mush. I'm probably going to die. Try to get Muse to play at the Wake. Invite George Lucas and then when he walks in the door, jump him. Just thought I'd let you know.

Anyway, why didn't anyone tell me about this Jagged Little Pill Acoustic album sooner? I typically do not enjoy the "Emo-ness" of Ms. Morissette but this album is toned down compared to the original. I hate you all for not mentioning it. None of you will be included in my will.

In other news I have had this package for someone sitting on my desk for over two weeks now because I cannot seem to find the time to drop by the post office and get it out of my hair. I feel super bad about it because I told the person to be expecting it...and that was like, what? A month ago? I am a super fabulous person. Super. I am considering just giving the silly thing to Andrew with a stack of cash and asking him politely to mail it for me. Then if he won't I'll attempt to blackmail him. And when that doesn't work, I will beg.

Saw A History of Violence last night. Talk about your inappropriate sex scenes. Uck. It's pretty bad when the entire audience laughs uncomfortably at a sex scene. The movie was slow, but awesome. The dialog sucked but the fight scenes rocked my face off! I give it 3 stars.

Example of the worst dialog since Episode One:
Character 1: "Nice gate..."
Character 2: "Yeah."

Ok-so-it's-a-late Friday Five

I have no intention on apologizing.

1. If magically thrown into an animated series you would be...
Obviously the star. With the wacky adventures I have now (and I'm not even being filmed!), I believed that thousands of kids ages 5-17 would enjoy my eccentric entertainment on television on Saturday mornings.

2. Your "best pal" would be...
Hmm I would prefer to refer to this person as my "side-kick" because I will be saving the world at least once every episode. I believe that my side-kick will be some sort of robotic dog or possibly "super dog" that will carry all my necessary items for protecting this great city from danger. Think of this side-kick as a utility belt with legs and fur.

3. Your adventures would include...
As I have stated above, I will save the world day by day from the wrath of evil MSU squirrels, Emo Boys who's music torments the ears of young ones, music industry lawyers, and Steve Jobs.

4. You would teach young and innocent children that...
Buying my products (I will come out with an entire line of toys based on the series as well as a breakfast cereal, line of hair-care products, and a video game) makes them better people.

5. In the end, your series would last how long?
I'd say we'd have a good run at 2 years. Then Fox would cancel us but DVD sales would show them what morons they are. Eventually (about 1-2 years later) they'll bring us back but it'll just be the same story ideas just "revamped" enough that people still find them entertaining.

Fudge and fudge again!

iTunes: "Creep" (acoustic on the My Iron Lung album) by Radiohead
I am: suffering from a severe case of the "hic-ups"

Kevin took me out riding on his motorcycle. Holy...freakin'...crap...it was awesome! I am totally going to buy a motorcycle and ride it everywhere!! Totally.

The theater isn't getting "Waiting..." Yes, that's right. We aren't getting the new Ryan Reynolds movie. Now imagine how upset I might be. Then multiply that times 10 and that's how upset I really am. I told my boss I was going to call up our film booker at home office and start crying until she got us a copy of it. I think Lori thought I was joking.

In other Ryan Reynolds news: yesterday I did not buy Amityville Horror. I know! Here's the story:

I went to the mall to get a new pair of shoes since my wicked red sneakers were almost dead and somehow ended up in the Buckle. Well I don't usually shop there (talk about bad prices) but they tend to have shoes that last longer then those crappy shoes at Wal-Mart. I immediately made my way to the back of the store where the sale items are kept in hopes of finding moderately priced funky sneakers. While examining a nice pair of overly priced Pumas I hear, "Hi, can I help you look for something?" I look up to see a beautiful excuse for a man smiling at me. Lip ring, tight punk shirt that showed off his awesome pecs, and hair to die for. Naturally my reaction is to stutter and drool all over myself but I was able to force the words, "I'm looking for a cool pair of shoes" out instead.
"Hm. Well, what are the shoes for?" he asked.
"Oh, for school. I want something that won't kill my feet." I said laughing uncomfortably.
"Cool. What colors are you interested in?"
"I really am leaning toward anything bright. Like this green or that orange."
"That's cool, that's cool. Well, let me grab you some stuff to try on!"
While I tried on the shoes he brought me we made conversation about what school I went to and what school he went to. It was nice. Had this man told me that if I bought a pair of the $70 Pumas that his life would be much better I probably would have bought them. That is how sad and pathetic I was at the point. By the time I finally made my purchase and left I realized I had just spent 45 minutes in that one store and did not have time to swing by Best Buy for Amityville. ::Sigh:: I need a man.

Explain this...

Does anyone want to explain to my why Lemony Snicket's Celeb Playlist on the iTunes music store is better then Elijah Wood's playlist?

Here, see for yourself...

Text messaging heaven

[Mocking Hamlet with Ethan Hawk over several text messages]

When reading the quoted lines you must prentend we are talking like Ethan Hawk or else the whole thing is completely pointless. Imagine the voice of Ethan Hawk being played by...um...Strong Sad (Homestar Runner) because that is what we were going for.

Me pretending to be Hamlet: "I'm emo and I walk into Blockbusters world wide and quote poetry to myself aloud!"

Hannah pretending to be Hamlet: "Look at my knit ski cap and blazer/hoodie combo. Watch me fight Liev Schreiber and lose. Too emo to function!"

Me still pretending to be Hamlet:"Boohoo! My daddy died and yet still find time in the afterlife to drop into my apartment nightly and rant about how my uncle put poison in his ear!"

Hannah doing the Hamlet thing: "We hugged once. It was like embracing a cold pudding. I've never felt to loved!"

Me...yep I'm Hamlet: "Too Bad my girlfriend's dad is a dirty you-know-what and she doesn't enjoy my utterly depressing rantings"

Hannah/Hamlet: "And too bad she drowned herself after I killed her dad and told her she was a whore."

Me/Hamlet: "I told her to go to a nunnery but I guess she thought that meant the fountain int he lobby of the New York Museum of Modern Art."

Hannah stillllll playing Hamlet: "I always knew she was a ditz."

Me doing an awesome Hamlet impression: "Did anyone else sense the sexual tension between my girlfriend and her brother? In all fairness I find myself attracted to her brother as well."

Me playing Hamlet: "Yet I am waaaay more attractive."

Hannah doing typical Hamlet things: "Wait, I KNOW I AM!"

Hannah being Hamlet still: "Especially in my fresh-from-England leather coat!"

Me claiming to be Hamlet: "I have that wonderful English smell to me. That's how I get everyone to love me."

Hannah being Hamlet one last time: "Except when they kick my a** in a graveyard."

Me just being Hamlet: "Or Laundromat."

Hannah: [No longer sporting an Ethan Hawk mocking tone] Best place for a smackdown ever.

Me: Tide can be a very effective tool for taking someone out and fabric softener can be deadly.

Hannah: especially if it comes from a vending machine.

Hannah: Stupid Snuggles.

Me: Darn him and his cuteness of death!

Hannah: Yeah!

Hannah: He's probably got teeth under all that fur. How did we start taking about this?

Me: He could strangle you with his sheets of ultimate softness.

Me: How do you explain to God that you were strangled by Snuggles? "Well I went in for a hug and one thing led to another..."

Hannah: Bwahahaha!