Crap. I forgot the Friday Five.

iTunes: "Hyper Music" by Muse
I am: a secret member of the Mensur

So after weeks of bugging Natalie and Hannah about being terrible friends and not posting my Friday Five on time I ironically forgot about it this week. I do hope they will find it in their hearts to forgive me. Years of doing acid have fried my brain.


As usual I am hosting the most exclusive dinner part of the year...

1. Who are the select few you invite?
Matthew Bellamy, Ryan Reynolds, Christian Bale, Bono, Steven Spielberg, Ewan McGregor, Dave Eggers, Jesus, either Natalie or Hannah (I'd make them fight to the death for the prize of being invited), and Danny Boyle. I would possibly invite another friend or two depending upon

2. What sexy thing do you wear?
Hmm that is an excellent question. What would I wear? I would have to go with "destroyed" jeans, some sort of sexy vintage rock t-shirt (sliced in all the right places), a classy jacket to dress the whole ensemble up a bit, and my Converse all-star heels.

3. What do you serve as sustenance?

Thai. All Thai, all the time.

4. Games?

The night would start off with a delightful discussion about the music and movie industry. We would argue over if censorship has gone too far in the movie industry and how the music industry continues to agressively attack it's customers who download music and burn CDs. We'd bring up making, "Trade Fair"
Jesus and Christian Bale would discuss the growth of China over the past few years.
Bono and Dave Eggers would make plans to write a book together concerning the spread of Aids in Africa. Natalie/Hannah would drool over Bono.
Matthew Bellamy and Ewan McGregor would burst out into song (a la Moulin Rouge) and Stephen Spielberg would tear up from the beauty of their voices.
Danny Boyle would pitch the idea of a Zombie movie to Stephen, who turns out to love it and plans to have Christian Bale star in it with Rachel McAdams. Ryan Reynolds would butt in every so often.
When our hearty discussion is finished we'd move into the living room where we'd play a rousing game of Pictionary. Afterwards, we'd play healthy game of hide-and-go-seek in which Stephen would be "it". After the entire group is unable to locate Ryan Reynolds and I for almost an hour, we miraculously re-appear back in the living room, hair mangled and lipstick smudged. I would look at everyone and say, “Wha? I was experiencing an asthma attack and Ryan offered to sooth my labored breathing.” Ryan Reynolds would mutter something to the extent of "You bet there was labored breathing." but no one would really hear him. Jesus would just look at the both of us with his hands on his hips, shaking his head in disapproval. Everyone at once would all say, “Oh Laura...”

On a side note: I'd like to say that we were making out nothing more.
So don't let your minds wander there.

5. Now, how do you get these mongrels out of your house?

Um, who said anything about wanting them to leave?

I'm gonna be honest here

iTunes: "Revolution" by The Beatles
I am: a consumer whore

So I regret to inform that I have come to the realization that I....am a consumer whore. ::screams:: I buy coffee from Star Bucks, I shop at Wal-Mart, and I shop (well more like "shopped") at American Eagle. ::gasp!:: The other day I was on the phone with a friend and mentioned that I was on my way out, to go on somewhat of a "shopping spree" at AE. His reaction was a natural, "NO!!"

I am a terrible person for shopping there. I really am. I should be shot down like the dirty harlot that I am.

Let's be honest people. The types of people that shop at AE tend to be, well, they're not individuals. They all look the same, talk the same, and walk the same. It's quite depressing. They're like robots without the cool gears. Oh, I remember the days when I used to make fun of those people. I would laugh and laugh.. and then I became one. It all started with me just dropping in and buying one screened tee and escalated to me buying pants, sweaters, and even a winter jacket. I hear that the first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem and that you need help. Well, I'm here people and I need to be weaned off of American Eagle some after school drug.

Tomorrow I shall wear my Consumer Whore shirt as a symbol of my new life without AE!

I so rarely am able to wear this beautiful shirt. It isn't appropriate for all occasions. For Hannah's birthday: yes. For Sunday Church: No, definitely not.

So I got to use a blow torch on Friday. In metal/jewelry class we were learning how anneal copper so that it was softer and easier to create texture on. It was so empowering. I want to use the blow torch for everything. EVERYTHING! I could walk around work with it and if the popper were to break I'd just bust it out and BOOM! Laura saves the day. They would call me "blow torch girl" or something more catchy. I would be loved by all.

Look at you all cute with that tattoo!

iTunes: "One" a cover by Aimee Mann
I am: Stuffed. Reminder to self: No more frosty-s with fries.

Every time I wear some sort of shirt that is a little low cut in the back someone mentions my tattoo which don't mind at all. Usually it's Kevin or James saying "OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR BACK?!!" To which I respond by turning with intense speed thinking that some grotesque insect is crawling up my spine. That joke never seems to get old with them. Today it was just Becca being her super nice self.

Becca: "Oooo I love your tattoo!"
Me: "Wa (distracted by the fact that someone's hand is now on my back poking at the fleshy area between my shoulder blades)."
Becca: "Oh I was just saying how much I like your tattoo!"
Me: "Thanks. I like it too."
Becca: "It's so beautiful!"
Me: "Yepper-o."
Becca: "No...it's really awesome."
Me: "Oh, I know."
::silence as she stares at my back::
Me: (jokingly) "I can give you the name of the guy who drew the design for me..."

She's been talking about getting one for a few months now but I just can't see her with a tattoo. Psh, no one guessed that I would get a tattoo.

Yesterday I went out and bought a Digital Voice Recorder since I have 4 lecture classes and do not have the ability to write faster then my professors can talk. It's pretty flippin' sweet.

Oh isn't it beautiful?! I have yet to figure out all it's functions but I'm pretty sure it's a combination Digital Voice Recorder and coffee maker--also makes Julienne fries. Will not break! ::taps it on table:: will not--::it falls apart::-it broke.

Now I'm off to finish spray painting an envelope. Don't ask.

Things I would do to get a NEW copy of Muse's Hullabaloo Soundtrack

• Eat only KFC for a whole month
• Watch Lindsay Lohan movies until my eyes bleed
• Make out with Rob Schneider
• Climb into an active Volcano
• Listen to Hillary Duff sing (nuff said)
• Sell my entire collection of Sandman graphic novels for a dollar
• Only see movies at the Campbell 16
• Stick my hand into boiling kettle cleaner
• lick barb wire
• Use my two least favorite words in a sentence every day of my life. I don't think it's necessary for me to state which words those are.
• Memorize the dictionary
• Consume cigarette ash
• Wear only yellow
• Tell Jake Lloyd he made Episode One a better movie
• Bathe in garbage juice for a week
• Buy tickets to and attend a Britney Spears concert
• Dye my hair 7 shades of green
• Shop at Hollister for the rest of my life
• drink 12 cups of pure Mt. Dew syrup
• Stop obsessing over Ryan Reynolds

---

iTunes: "Feeling Good" by Muse and "Sitting, waiting, wishing" by Jack Johnson

I am: chafed/vexed

Anyway so the day was "chiz" until it was almost over then I got all pissed off and now I'm angry. Gr. Not even the thought of that attractive young man in my Art History Class can even bring a smile to my face. Like a normal human being I am going to suppress my rage until I explode like a cheap Toshiba TV.

So Hannah posted this dorky thing on her Xanga:

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about
you.

2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.

3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.

4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (maybe/maybe
not).

5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal

And because I cannot seem to find my own identity and because I need a distraction from my animosity, I too, am going to post such message on my web site but with minor modifications...

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. Is it just me or does this sound dirty? Hannah, what were you thinking when you wrote these?
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (maybe/maybe not).
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what song reminds me of you. (because animals are lame)
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. Ok, you don't really have to post this on your journal but if you don't man-eating squirrels will attack you and your family and I cannot be responsible for what become of them.

Now since Hannah kindly posted her comments on my Xanga I am going to answer her on my Blog:

Hannah

1. You are sooo much more Indie then I will ever be.

2. Gattaca. I think it's obvious why.

3. Sour Green Apple.

4. "I put anbesol on my lips and then they went numb for, like, hours!"

5. I know I have memories before this but I'd have to say that the first time would be at Natalie's house when the above quote was stated.

6. "Time is running out" by Muse because that is the first time you recommend a CD and I actually liked it.

7. "How is it that you make more money then me, work more hours then me, and yet are always broke?"

---

While on the somewhat topic of Muse, I have come to realize that if you are going to walk into a room, "Hysteria" or "Cave" should be playing in the background because it has to be the ultimate walking music. Someone should buy me a stereo that I can carry around so that I can fulfill my dream.

---

EDIT: One for the Nat-ster

1. There were a few times sophomore Year, I honestly thought you could totally take Tamila no matter what she said.

2. 10 Things I Hate About You. Shakespeare as a teen movie? COME ON! That just screams "Natalie"!

3. Black Cherry

4. "IT'S NOT PORN!"

5. Hmm let's see...I met you in..what like 7th grade? I know that I met you through Dani but I more remember you going around to the entire 8th grade class introducing everyone to Tamila like she was some kind of foreign exchange student. Ha-ha the best memory I have of you is at the huge party we had at your house when we all tried to fit into Sam's uber tiny sports car and Linzy or you said, "There's not even enough room to shag in it!" I believe we also broke the screen to the window at your room. Man, that was a good night.

6. "Who Will Save Your Soul" by Jewel. You are the ultimate Jewel fan. Sometimes I get you and Jewel mixed up and then I realized that your poetry is actually good.

7. "Do you fear anything? I mean seriously. Do you even have the ability to fear?"

---

EDIT: 8/26/05

SANDOR

1. Logan (fellow gamer friend of yours that is one of my employees) giggles every time your name is brought up and feels the need to inform me about Counter-Strike. He started calling you SAND-or and I told him not to but he keeps doing it. You should beat him up.
2. Lord of the Rings: FOTR that or Charlie's Angels. I remember you drooling over those stupid Cameron Diaz pins. Hehe, that movie was so lame.
3. Orange.
4. "Oh my gosh. You DO look like Velma!" I hate you for that.
5. It was the first time I was closing concession and you came back to check my work. You ran your hand across the counter and said that it was not clean enough and made me stay an extra 15 minutes to re-clean the counters. Gr.
6. I'm going to have to go with Switchfoot's "Meant To live". Whenever I get onto your web site I hear that song. That song is aweeeesome.
On a side note: I almost went with Cadet's "God-Man!" but it didn't quite fit you.
7. Who was your favorite employee when you worked at the 8? Was it Amanda? I bet it was. I hate you...

You know it's been a slow day at work when...

Nicole makes this face...


and when you force your employees to do backflips for you....

Birfday (yes, it's spelled correctly)

iTunes: "Papa was a rollin' stone" by The Temptations
I am: Not in the mood to work tomorrow

Oh man, Andrew's birthday celebration was a flippin' blast. I will have to tell this in part so for tonight...

PART 1 OF THE MOST AWESOME DAY EVER:

At 12:05pm it strikes me that I need to vandalize Andrew's car for his birthday. I make the decision that I have to go all out. To "the extreme" if you will. I send Logan (employee) to Party City with $20 out of my own wallet to buy 2 window chalk markers, 2 500 ft bundles of streamer, and as many boxes of saran wrap as possible. He returns. I decide that this must be done quick and with Logan's help. I grab him and another employee (Jessie, oh Jessie!) and we tell Becca that we will be going on an extended break. Jessie text messages Andre and finds out that he is in flippin' Nixa at Tanner's. A quick decision is made. We must drive out there so that we may trash his car. After driving all the way out there we are shocked to find out that he has left already. We grumble as we are forced to return to work. We revise our plan so that it will be after work that we attack. The time comes. Logan and I make our way to Andrew's apartment. There it is....his wonderful and clean Cavalier. It is 6:40pm and we are to meet at the Skating rink at 7pm so we don't have much time before he come out the door and sees us. I start writing random "birthday" messages while Logan takes a crack at covering everything with streamer and Saran wrap. At 6:50 we stop and run to his car. As we begin to move we gaze at the masterpiece that we created. Ah, orange and pink streamers covered in Saran wrap with hot pink writing on the windows (that is now smeared thanks to Logan). He drives across the street and we wait in a parking lot to watch. I call Daniel to get everyone to get out of the apartment so that Andrew will see. Oh the look on his face was precious. Then the group of people start point at Logan's car. Logan floors it in reverse and I ram into the back seat. We pass his house and head straight for the rink. It was greeeeat!

I want my message read clear

iTunes: "Capricorn (A Brand New Name)" by 30 Seconds to Mars
I am: Stoked

JARED LETO'S (Fight Club, Alexander, American Psycho, Requiem for a Dream, Panic Room, and the fabulously upcoming Lord of War) BAND IS THE MOST AWESOME BAND IN THE WORLD! You heard me right. Now buy their CD.

If for some strange reason I happen to run into Jared Leto on the street I just might just have to hug him and say, "Thank you Jared Leto for showing other actors that it is possible to make music that doesn't suck. Now can you please tell Will Smith to stop rapping?" Sure he'd think I was utterly insane and sure, he'd start to freak out when our little hug turns into a 40 minute squeeze fest but for those brief few moments that I would be touching Mr. Leto maybe, just maybe, some of his genius will rub off onto me and I too can create beautiful things like "30 Seconds to Mars." Granted he will be trying to pry me off with a crowbar because I will be attached to his t-shirt like a blood sucking leech, but hey, it'll be ok. He'll respect me for that.

By day he is just your average, every day good-looking actor trying to get by but by night he becomes...

JARED LETO!! ROCK STAR TO THE EXTREEEEM!

Now for those of you who love Chevelle, Breaking Benjamin, A Perfect Circle, Three Days Grace, or any band that sounds remotely like any of the above needs to come to me so that I can let you borrow this CD so that you too may bask in the genius that is Jared Leto.

Naw, it can't be heaven. There's not enough Twinkies.

I am: amnesici
Tunes: “At the Speed of a Yellow Bullet” by Head Automatica

Though Vicks 44 is coursing through my veins I am still able to pull myself off my couch and to my beautiful computer to post yet another pointlessly entertaining post. That is just how dedicated I am people.I was pretty down about the whole, being sick for the two days I actually have off work but Justin R. reminded me multiple times that, HEY, in a few weeks I’ll be enjoying one of my favorite bands…live…in my hometown. HAHA that reminds me! I have somehow managed to get Justin to drive us all to Lawrence, KS for the Jimmy Eat World show! Contrary to popular belief my feminine powers of persuasion are still effective!

So get this...I...could...be....in Stephen King's next book!! That's right! All I have to do is donate a bunch of money...a "butt-load" if you will...to a worth cause and BOOM! I'm instantly in the book! Ok, so maybe it doesn't work exactly like that but it's pretty close. I mean so what if my Grandmother intended me to use that money to pay for college. I think she would agree that being in STEPHEN KING's next book is much more important.

My Snapple Popsicle stick taught me today that “starfish are the only animal that can turn their stomach inside out.” You know I don’t think I would have maintained that A average in high school if these frozen dessert companies didn’t put essential facts, like this one, on their Popsicle sticks.

::cough cough:: ::sniff sniff::

iTunes: "Roxanne" by the Police

Looks like Laura's not going to make it to church tomorrow.

Hmm. Laura might not even make it out of bed tomorrow...

God-willing I will clear a path through all these Kleenexes!

Well, excuse me, Miss "I'm-so-smart-I-can't-wait-to-go-to-the-Island!"

I am: Still hacking up pieces of my lung
iTunes: "Got To Give it Up" by Marvin Gaye

I snagged this sweet baby from work on Saturday:

Oh Ewan. If only you weren't married and had a kid, I'd lust over you ten times more.

I also snagged a "final" of Waiting.

Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Look, one bad picture means nothing. Shhh. Just let the moment pass.

This morning was terrible. I had this awful dream in which I found myself in awkward position of being in the middle of the beautiful Canadian mountains with Jason Statham who was trying to car-jack me. Sadly things went from bad to worse when a struggle broke out between Ray Liotta (he was in the car with me? I apparently have guest stars in my dreams.) and Jason Statham resulting in a large avalanche. Now imagine my reaction when I woke up to find myself literally covered in, what must have been at least 1/2 a foot, of Kleenexes. Let's just say that, at 6am the entire house was awakened by the delightful sound of my wheezed screaming.

Think of what a duck with strep throat would sound like screaming. That was me around 6am.

Down with the sickness

Ugh...so sick. I attempted to drink some delicious Jones Soda (Mmm Berry White) but only found myself becoming more nauseous. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! IF I CAN'T EVEN ENJOY JONES SODA I CAN'T GO ON!!

Houses don't kill people. People kill people.

So....Amityville Horror is out on DVD on October 4th.

Um maybe I should restate that. Amityville Horror comes out October 4th, 2005...

Let me try that one more time. AMITY-FREAKIN-VILLE HORROR COMES OUT OCTOBER 4th!

Yeah, that's right people. You better buy the DVD!

Mmmhmm The Friday Five

1. What song on your iTunes playlist are you least likely to admit to friends, is there?
Sadly, at some point, I decided that it's cool to listen to Jim Croce. I'd have to say that I am quite bashful when it comes to discussing my love of his old-time music.

2. What movie is your guilty pleasure?
American Psycho, hands down, is definitely a guilty pleasure. Oh the nudity! OH THE VIOLENCE! And yet...it is so awesome.

3. What book brings most shame to your bookshelves?
I got into this phase where I was trying to find really unique graphic novels so I bought one called "The Filth" thinking, wow what an interesting concept. Unfortunately I should have paid more attention to the name of the graphic novel because it is quite dirty.

4. What's your most shameful moment?
Oh, there are too many to pick from. Most of them involve moments in which I thought I was blonde and attempted to act like it.

5. National Enquirer: dirty secret read or just more paper to cover your hamster's cage?
I find the National Enquirer entertaining beyond belief.

I'll have that cow shaken...not stirred

There is this reappearing commercial on TV that features a man literally shaking a cow and then the words "MILK SHAKE". Upon first viewing this commercial I was distressed by the fact that this poor cow was being shaken pretty violently. Now I am amused by such commercial and have the urge to shake a cow. Does that make me a bad person? Yes, yes it does.

iTunes: "My Friends" by the Red Hot chili Peppers
I am: AWESOME!

I attempted to renew my license today but was shot down by the evil license lady who said I couldn't prove my citizenship because I don't have my birth certificate. Hellooooo. I clearly was born in the US. I do not find it necessary to have 3 forms of ID (not including my expired license) to RENEW MY LICENSE! I can't express how mad I was to find out that I have to drive around without a valid license until I can get a copy of my birth certificate in the mail because my parents appear to have lost it. Convenient that they lost mine and not my sister's EAI?

Sing it back, whoa-a-a-a-a-a

iTunes: "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World
I am: HAZAAH (I realize that you can't be "hazaah" but the word seemed to fit the situation)

HAZAAAH I SAY! I am happy to announce that I will be attending the Jimmy Eat World concert in my hometown of Lawrence, Kansas on September 18th with numerous friends. I have volunteered my services as the driver for the day since I do know my way around my own hometown. I don't believe I can properly express how psyched I am about this trip. Lawrence has the best venues around and we don't have to listen to 12 opening acts to get to the good stuff like we did with Chevelle. Don't get me wrong. The Chevelle concert was hardcore awesome. I just hated listening to the first 6 bands produce what one could only assume was some sort of "music".

Friday Five

iTunes: "Caring is Creepy" by The Shins

Most of you know what a "Friday Five" is but for those "uned-ja-ma-kated" few I offer this explanation:Every Friday I or (in the rare instance that I am being lazy) someone else creates a list of five questions centering around one topic. The responses and questions are then posted on various blogs. So here it goes...

1. What Zombie movie deserves your seal of awesome-ness?

My vote would have to go for "Shaun of the Dead." With lines like 'Who died and made you king of the zombies? ' how can you not LOVE that movie?

2. If you were placed in a zombie movie, approximately how long would you live and why?

Hmm with my brains and good looks? I'd say I'd live right up to the last 15 minutes of the movie when a surprise plot twist results in a zombie attacking me from the behind and biting my neck.

3. What weapon have you found to be most useful against zombies?

My "boomstick"!!

4. Zombies. Good, bad, or just misunderstood?

Clearly misunderstood. Their need to eat brains is really them trying to reach out.

5. Cillian Murphy. Will he ever get past being type-cast as the hot creepy dude?

No. After seeing the Red Eye trailer I think it's clear that Cillian will always be the loveable creep next-door.

Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable"

I was able to get my copy of WE3 today. Grant Morrison is pretty much a genius...well, as genius as you can get without being Neil Gaiman. Anyway, this book is all about these three animals that are turned into somewhat cyborgs. The Army uses them in super secret missions to kill crime lords and whatnot. I don't want to give too much away but it's pretty sweet. Oh man, if my dogs were cyborgs we could play "SUPER ultimate Frisbee" and I'd have them hunt down my mortal enemies. Stellar. I have to admit that no book or comic book has EVER made me cry, not even Watership Down and that's saying a lot. I wasn't even half way through WE3 when I found myself tearing up. Just thinking about the story makes me get all gooshey. ::sniff sniff:: It's just that good people...just that gosh darn good.

I was surprised to see that the USA network is playing "TORNADO!" aka a crappier version of Twister with Bruce Campbell. The only good thing about this movie is Bruce. Oh Bruce, your such a stud ::sigh::.

On a random side note: Bruce Campbell's character in "TORNADO!" went to the University of Missouri making Bruce Campbell even cooler, if that's even possible.

Entitled: Teddy Graham memories

iTunes: "Long Line of Cars" by Cake
I am: melting

This post is mostly fluffed filler for the week so you'll have to excuse the lack of entertainment value:

So I thought about going out today to buy some Comet to clean the dishwasher with but then came to the realization that we had plenty of Tang in stock, and used it instead. Yep. I knew that Tang was awesome but man, not only is it delicious but also can be used as a household cleaner.

Now a quote from 2Ge+Her:The Movie...

Chad: I don't tell many people this, but my greatest dream is to own a Seadoo, and Im gonna get one too, because I plan on making a buttload of money with this!

Doug: A buttload, how much is a buttload?

Chad: 1000 dollars. I base that on the fact that one time, I fit 5 dollars up my butt, and well, not to brag or anything, but I figure I could fit way more up there. WAY more! Easy!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Names of actual books in my mother's office

• "How to really love your teenager"
• "Self-Esteem: A Family Affair"
• "Beating the Devil out of them"
• "How to really love your child"
• "The Shy Child"
• "Understanding Parental Anger"
• "Children: The Challenge"